Another day in Paradise

Another day trying to go through things and get rid of stuff not being used anymore, and just trying to get rid of the little stuff that seems to accumulate all over the house and in boxes you name it.

I can't believe how much stuff we've managed to accumulate in the almost two years now that we've lived here.

I've got all the things outside and in boxes for the sale on Saturday. I'm excited to see how much we sell. Hope it's a lot.. That will have make it through the rest of the month. We always seems to run out of money before we run out of month. But we always have what we need, so it doesn't bother me much. Just would like to have some extra money for a change.

It will be nice to finally sell this trailer and get one in Parker that we only have to pay $40 a month to store it when we travel. That will leave us a bit more for our travels. That will be nice, because we have all kinds of places we want to go and see. I enjoy eating out at times as well. But we definitely live a wonderful life regardless of how much money we have or don't have.

I made a wonderful stew today. It was over cast and gloomy, so I decided to make a good hearty stew to warm the place and our tummies. I have to admit, it hit the spot. I also shared with Leon next door. I know it's hard to cook just for yourself. But when Laurie and I go back on the road, I'm going to cook less, and eat more salads, and little snacks. Fruits and veggies more, and hopefully more juice that we make ourselves.

The more I read labels on food the more I realize how much fake stuff is in there, and no wonder we are getting all kinds of sickness we never got before. It alarms me. People so blindly eat food that should never be eaten. Chemicals in everything. Even in our noodles for goodness sake.

We have gotten so far away from natural food and a natural life, people are changing so much. It's frightening how people are now days. They get offended about the slightest thing. You have to be Politically correct in what you say and do. It blows my mind. The world is changing in a way I'm not prepared to go along with.

I'm hoping Laurie and I can buy a little place out in the woods somewhere when we get older and have a few chickens and live out the rest of our days in peace. I'm not caring about all this electronic life. Yes, I keep a blog, and love to play games on line, and Facebook to see what my friends are doing far away, but I want it to be something I do for a few moments a day, not something that occupies all my time as it seems to do a lot of lately. Since being kinds stuck here right now in order to get all our medical needs taken care of, I find myself on line more and more. But not all of it is silly and useless. I've learned quite a bit since the internet has been invented for most of us to use.

I can watch Youtube and learn how to do pretty much anything. I learned to make a heater for our home with tea lights that kept us toasty while we were waiting for our heater to be installed.

I do enjoy being able to read anything at anytime. That is really nice too. But hoping to be able to learn enough about solar to get it installed in the RV. That would be so cool.

Another thing I've learned about on line, and that is tiny houses. I want to build my own tiny house with the help of friends. I'd love for Laurie to have her own and me to have my own. That is a dream come true. We are both such different people she could have her own space and me mine.

We could buy a little land and put both our little houses on them and live a wonderful life together. What a fabulous dream. I'm looking forward to it coming true. It's fun to plan things for the future. I know I'm in the sunset of my life, but I still have so many plans.

It will be nice though to get back on the road. I love meeting new people and seeing new things. I'll have my trusty camera with me to take it all in. It's nice having someone like Laurie as a companion in life. Someone that loves you unconditionally, and will be there for you. It's a wonderful feeling. One I've not had before.

I feel more free now than ever in my life. I don't feel like I have to be nice to anyone because of my career, don't have to conform for any reason. Don't feel like I need to wear make-up, or put on a front for anything or anyone. It's so nice to live this way. I can get up when I feel like it, go to bed the same way. I have my sweet dog Pickles. I'm incredibly happy. I'm at peace, and glad for those that are in my life now. The peace is worth everything to me. I've eliminated the haters, and those that weren't really my friends, and have moved forward and don't feel the need to contact anyone from my past. I've put all to rest that needed to be, and now can just live. I relish every day and am so grateful for all I have. This is nice.

Namaste'

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Howdy Bloggers. It's been awhile since writing. It seems so much time and living happens in between writings.

 

Laurie and I haven't been able to get away as we had hoped between all the Dr. appointments and other obligations. This is the second year we've not been able to travel. Rats! It's starting to weigh in on me. I miss being on the road so badly.

 

I did go camping last week and it was like heaven and went by way too fast. I didn't interact with the other campers, just wanted to be alone and not have to talk or do anything I didn't want to do.

 

I bought myself a steak for the camp trip and had a wonderful fire. Pickles was beside herself she was so happy. Laurie stayed home to have a little home time alone. We all need time alone. She can listen to Enya (not my fav) music and just do whatever she wants. It's a nice break for us.

 

I've rediscovered taking pictures again. I mean really taking pictures like I used too. I'm hoping to upgrade my camera soon. I'm not into a lot of stuff, but the things I have I want the best I can afford.

 

Getting rid of so much stuff lately. This Saturday we are having a sale out front of the Mobile home park and I hope to sell a lot of no longer needed stuff. I've acquired so many things since moving here to Santa Maria. It's hard turning down things when you don't have much, then you end up with all kinds of goodies you really don't need. So, for the last two days I've been going through the shed and getting out all the things we don't need or want anymore and just get rid of it one way or another.

 

I have two air brush kits and a compressor I've had for years and never have used. Always going to get around to learning how to do it, but never did. It's now time to move it along to someone that would use it. I want to upgrade the RV and we are loosing our car anytime now too. It's circling the drain for sure. But we are grateful for everyday that it still gets us where we are going.

 

I have to give a shout out to all those people in our lives that help us and are concerned for us. We are so blessed with wonderful people around us, but that isn't a fluke, it's because we have decided to have a better bunch of people around us. WE avoid those negative people that no longer fit into our lives collectively.

 

I'm so proud to be Laurie's partner. She's one great gal I must say. She stays calm when I'm not so calm, she allows me to be who I am without making me feel bad about it, and without judgment. Nice. If you ever find someone like that, keep them, you may never find anyone like them again.

 

I know Laurie is my second (third, fourth...etc)chance at love and a loving relationship. It's been a hard road in many ways for both of us, because of being so damaged as children, but we are determined to have the best life possible together. I think we are doing a great job so far. We talk things out, and if we have a problem, we solve it.

 

To have someone that will cook dinner for you when you don't feel so good, someone that will go to the store when you want something, but don't need it. It's doing all the nice things perhaps someone else wouldn't do. It's a pleasure to wake up to her daily. We have an unusual relationship that is for sure, but I can tell you it works and I'm happier than I've ever been. I'm at peace and content. That is something most people never have. They continue to look for that 'thing' that will make them happy. My happiness lies with my relationship with Laurie and all we do together. It's taken me a very long time to find my happiness and my voice, but now that I have it, I don't intent to waste it, but enjoy everyday from this day forward. Don't need a piece of paper to declare it, don't need it to be 'legal' just have to put it out in the world.

 

Speaking of all that 'stuff'. I'm so unhappy with the way the world is going in so many ways. The religious right is really trying to push their beliefs on the rest of us. I'm so sick of hearing about the bible I could scream. It's a horrible book about how badly people treat each other, and all I've seen out of it, is wicked. I can't wrap my head around people believing in a person they've never seen, heard, or ever existed and make that the entire make-up of their lives. I consider it a form of mental illness. The more I study about religious people the more I'm sure it's a mental illness that is very hard to cure once indoctrinated in people from childhood. Such a tragedy in my eyes. People don't need a false book to tell them how to act, it's ingrained into us as nature. Plus, it constantly contradicts itself. The picking and choosing of what to believe and use against others is beyond my understanding. There are good and bad people in every form.

 

Things that were shameful in my day are now the normal. I'm so blown away by the shows on TV let alone anything else. Children are being taught how to blow people away in games, taught how to lie and manipulate people for a game show prize, and just how to act like total idiots and get paid. No wonder the children of today are acting the way they do. Plus, parents aren't at home teaching them anything. They are self taught by way of computer, TV, and games. I don't regret for one minute the time I spent with my kids camping, hiking, driving and singing along with the radio. I was really engaged with my kids, and it was so much fun. Taught them to play games, horseshoes, dominoes, cards, Monopoly and so many others. I now see parents sitting with their kids as they are on their phones. It's so disturbing. The parents are missing so much and so are the kids. I hate this new media era in so many ways.

Laurie and I have talked about giving it all up and living in a little place out in the woods, and we probably will do that in a few years after we have a little more travel under our belts. But who knows what the future brings. I just know I want to have a little place with chickens and live a peaceful life without TV, computer, and all the trappings of the world.

I have a sweet friend that is doing just that. All is solar, and she doesn't have the bills we have. I just visited her not that long ago, and it was like heaven. Now I'm determined more than ever to get a place like that and shut the world as it is becoming out!

 

The rich keep getting richer, and the poor are out numbering anyone else in the world. It's so sad. When I see the rich and all they spend their money on, the more I detest them and their ways. I've known many very rich people in my day and I've never seen one that was truly happy. So what is the point? Helping others is so satisfying, I don't understand why they don't give more. Wish I were rich, I'd do so much with it. I'd make shelters in the South for domestic violence to start with. When I'd go to those places, I felt safer at home than in the shelters.

 

When I see people like Mitt Romney who've been rich and privileged all his life spend his money on such over the top living, I know that they haven't a clue. That is why he didn't get elected among so many other reasons.

 

How many pairs of shoes can you have? Purses? When others look at us from other Countries, we sure look like idiots. When they see us running in malls and fighting to buy more things that aren't needed, it's shameful and I don't want to be grouped in that. I have tried especially these last 10 years to save electricity, food, and all resources. I find it to be a challenge and a lot of fun really. Saving our resources is important no matter how small. This is our Mother Earth and we need to take care of her so she can take good care of us. It's too bad there are those that feel that the Earth is theirs to exploit and use at will. We've seen the results of that type of thinking.

 

And where are all these people who have 'Jesus' in their hearts? Get up off your knees and work at a shelter, volunteer whenever possible. But people remain too hurried, busy, and too stressed to do much. To live in this day and age, you need two jobs to get by. I feel bad for those trying to raise families these days. You don't know who to trust with your kids, you don't know how you are going to make it if you don't work, it's stressful. But I can say, that if you wanted too, you could do it, with LESS. You don't need those name brand shoes, pocket book, or anything really.

 

Thrift stores are full of perfectly good clothes and goods that can be used over again. I rarely ever buy anything new. Even our furniture is either given to us, or we've bought in a thrift store. I can't see buying things full price. That is why we are able to do as much as we do, we don't pay full price. That and I've learned how to cook with natural ingredience which makes it really cheaper in the long run. And so much better for you as well.

 

The more I read about what is put into our foods the more I'm cooking from scratch. Really read the stuff on the box and look it up on the computer, your minds will change fast! It's never too late to start a healthy lifestyle. I'm hoping to go back to being a vegetarian. I've made it about two months in a row so far, but, it's time for me to stop meat altogether.

 

The steroids they give all animals that we eat is what is making us all sick and not feeling well. When you read and see how these animals are treated before death, it's no wonder we are all getting cancer and other illness' that never were before. I'm sorry to tell you this, but those cows don't run free among the flowers. They are housed in horrible conditions, treated just as badly, and then they die. Not good for the spirit of the animal you are eating. I still believe that. When you eat the flesh of an animal that has had a bad life, you take on their spirit. Sad.

 

I used to be a hunter. I never shot a deer. I couldn't. I came face to face with one and I had the gun, but I couldn't shoot. I looked in it's eyes, and we were brothers, so I watched him walk away. And from that day forward, I've not picked up a gun to hunt, nor will I unless I have no other choice. I watched people in the South kill just to be killing. I thought it was barbaric and didn't like the mentality. I lived among the Cajuns that are more back woods, and was blown away at how back woods they really were. Still have the same thoughts about black people, still hold the same grudges from the civil war. I found their educational system so outdated and old I took my kids out of school in order for them NOT to learn things I knew where wrong. Sad that in some parts of the United States they are taught a certain set of 'facts' and in others they are told the true history.

 

People thought I was nuts to start homeschooling my kids. It wasn't the 'in' thing to do in the 80's. People thought I was running from the law, or some other sinister reason I choose not to send my kids to school. I didn't want them coming home telling me a bunch of crap they learned in school I had to tell them it wasn't fact.

 

Especially these so called Christian schools. OMG. I went to private schools as well as regular school. I went to Hawthorn Christian School, in Hawthorn Ca. Brutal. They would beat us with a leather strap on our hands. OUCH! We also had to wear uniforms and learn long bible scriptures. So, let me tell you, if you want to bible thump, I'm right along side ya. Then went to a Seventh Day Adventice (sp) school. That one was something else. No music, no dance, no movies, no fun whatsoever! They were nuts. Made sure we didn't laugh or have fun of any kind. Couldn't wait to get out of that school. It's amazing I came out of all this with a sane mind. I do and will until the day I die believe Christianity is a form a mental illness. When people are unable to handle life, they turn to a super hero to rescue them and give their enemies much needed revenge.

 

What if it was just you and you alone to blame (not the devil) and you and you alone can take the responsibility for the good as well. We are born knowing right from wrong. We are polluted as children to believe the thoughts of our parents. That's all well and good, but some of us, found out for ourselves. I never took the word of anyone. I found more people fake life than live it. I want to find out the answers for myself.

 

After much study on religion, I've come to the conclusion it's all made up. Most all gods have the same beginning, and the same middle, and the same end. Follow me, give money, I'll save you, I have the true answers etc. Herds of people as cattle file in places to learn how to follow all the rules and act accordingly. And if you don't comply you will suffer one way or another. What a horrible way to live but yet people fall for this hook line and sinker.

 

The preachers of this gibberish get richer by the day off of people who send them money to hear this falsehood. Unbelievable to me in many ways. Really???? The preachers of today are richer than ever in history. It's because more and more people are looking to others for their salvation. Stop, listen and you too will be able to do all they do. They are not any more holy than you are. They are not anything more than you are. You are a holy person in your own right, and can do anything they can do. They  have no special powers. If so, why would your god do that? I've studied Jesus, and he wasn't the great one others seem to think he was. First of all, any man that says abandon your family, your wife and children and come follow me, isn't in my book a great guy! So all the apostles abandoned their families, and left them to fend for themselves so they could run off with some guy saying he knows the way to true happiness and eternal life. I think we all know what happened to those 12 men don't we?? And yet, you still want to follow this nut? Not me, I'm running as fast as I can from him, he's another Jim Jones as far as I'm concerned.

 

I have a sister that is a Mormon. I'm having a hard time having a relationship with her because of her beliefs. Religions pull just as many people apart as they bring together I believe. If people would just stop with all the crazy. You don't need a special hand shake or name to get into heaven. If your god is there, he'll know your name and you don't need a special handshake. Boggles the mind what perfectly intelligent people will believe. Brainwashing is a multimillion dollar business. Christian Science is getting richer by the moment with their buy your way into heaven deal.

 

I don't claim to be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I can tell you this, if you look at all that is believed in this day and age of science, I know it has to be brainwashing mental illness that keeps us in the backwoods ourselves.

 

If people would just treat each other like precious jewels and stop with all the madness, we'd be pretty good off. And stop killing animals just because you can.

 

I've always has a special connection with animals. They've felt safe with me and have come to me from the woods to everywhere. I feel safer with them than I do with humans. The more I get to know humans the more I enjoy being with my animal friends. Nature has always been my temple. I've never ever believed you needed a special place to connect with 'god' yourself or just feel free and part of this earth.

 

I know I think much differently than many, but I'm good with that. I've seen enough phony to last me the rest of my life, and now avoid those type of people when possible. As time goes by, I've found that I like quiet more, less stress, less drama and just be at peace.

 

Hope my Grandchildren are doing good and having as good a life possible with all the drama that surrounds them. I couldn't watch the train wreck anymore and had to step away. Not that I don't care anymore, it's that I don't care to watch the mayhem. They are always in my thoughts. Hope to someday see them again. Hope my daughter is learning the lessons she needs too in order to live a better informed life. Hope she is happy as she has chosen the life she now enjoys.

 

I will say it's much more peaceful in my life without family in my life. The people that surround me treat me better than family ever did, so I'm good with the decision not to allow my blood relatives to use and abuse me anymore. I don't miss them either, which is a great blessing. I thought I'd sit around and wring my hands and be upset, but yet I find myself taking a deep breath and moving forward with confidence and happiness. Weird. When you aren't appreciated and people take you for granted, lie, cheat, and steal from ya, it's time to get the courage up and end it. Unfortunately I had to completely end it in order for it to stop. But, I was happy for the time I did have with my kids Heidi and Cory. I loved singing songs with them, hiking, and teaching them different things as they grew up. But that time is over, and seems like more of a dream now. I learned a lot being a Mother and holding them in my arms was heaven.

 

Now, I'm at the late stages of my life, and enjoy so much. My good friends, Laurie, a good meal, quiet peace, and so much now. I go fishing unhurried. I walk at a pace that is good for me, and I don't usually do anything I don't want too. It's a good way to live. I am now appreciated for what I do and who I am. Laurie makes it a point to let me know how much she loves me and how I've changed her life for the better. Can't beat that. When you have someone like Laurie in your life, you don't want for anything. I'm so blessed.

Gonna go have another cup of coffee and relish all my blessings. I have a grateful journal I need to update it as I'm so grateful for so many things.

 

Namaste'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Getting up in my normal wake and bake mode. It's a bit harder to wake today since our festival yesterday, but it was so worth it.

Laurie and I in the last minute decided to do the Salad Bowl Festival and we are so glad we did. It was plagued with mishaps, and all kinds of aggravation but I've decided things like that are only there to test us, and we what we are made of.

I was thinking all the while of how it is in the Circus. You just persevere no matter what. In the end you usually come out ahead, or at least you didn't give up. I've always admired that part of Circus people. I've never seen such hard working and spirited people. I admire so many, it's hard to even begin to tell of all my hero's who've made it through life regardless of what hands they have been dealt.

When you spend all your life sniveling, and complaining about your parents or situation, you won't have time to work and improve yourself. I spent a good portion of my younger years in this loop. I just didn't get it. But thank goodness, I have and have been able to move forward and realize it's all up to me what happens in my life and where I go from here.

Many of us have been dealt some pretty tough situations, but I've seen so many people push forward and find peace and their place on earth where they belong.

This is where I am. Of course, there are those that don't agree with your journey and will be more than happy to tell you so, and to try to direct you back to the path 'they' see you on. This is what I'm going through about now. I have a certain bunch of people in my life who think I'm bitter and angry about stuff and that is why I've turned my back on God and the bible.

This is not try. You can believe what you will, just don't expect me to go along with your views. I have my own. And don't be mad at me, nor tell me I'm going to hell. Ridiculous. Pray for me if you think this. But don't spend too much time on your knee's. I'd prefer you walk in the woods.

In my later years I've noticed I'm attracting like minded people. This of course has been true of all the segments of my life. I attracted the people of which I needed at the time. All have had an important impact on things that have happened.

Instead of making some evil and some not so much, I'm looking at all the people of my life as angels that taught me so many lessons to move forward in my life and make a difference. They have all had a piece of my heart at one time or another, but now are a distant memory, and they are put in a box as they should be. To be taken out and admired/remembered, but to be put back, closed, and tucked away in a dark part of the closet. At least, this is the way for me.

It has taken a lot of work on myself to be able to really share anything worth listening too. I see different people in their different journeys and struggles. The exciting part if watching others really grow and become who they were meant to be unencumbered. 

When children come from a religious background there is only a certain part of their lives that are theirs alone to explore. Otherwise, their parents have chosen for them, the way they will or will not think of God. Or even the choice to believe it or not. It's usually brainwashed in by 10.

But I've seen a good wave coming where parents are allowing kids to figure these things out for themselves. Thank goodness my Mother never threatened me with hell of fire if I didn't believe. I so admire my Mother for that.

The Salad Bowl Festival

 

Saturday in Guadalupe was so much fun at the festival. We think it was worth all the mishaps that happened getting there. And there were many.

The first one was Pickles had some kind of episode where she was jumping, crying, and running all over. I tried everything I could to calm her. Held her, walked her, stayed up with her. But every time I thought she was good, I'd go to bed and she'd start jumping up and down again. I couldn't figure out for the life of me what was wrong.

 

So, I didn't get but around 4 hours sleep the night before. Thank goodness, we had most of it already packed.

 

Lets start from the beginning. I saw the TV advertising about it and called to get on board. It didn't take much, just a phone call. So off we were to be part of the festival.

 

We got a booth next to some people that were selling Day of the Dead stuff. We struck up a great friendship, exchanged numbers and hugs, and now we have new friends.

 

Laurie got all her art out there and displayed it beautifully. People were looking, but there weren't as many people there as I originally thought would be. But with what we had we did good. It was well worth our getting out there.

 

One of the mishaps was I had tied on the roof of the car our peg board and such. The rope broke and flew off the car all over the road. It almost hit a car, so we had to back up and get it off the road. Scary!

 

We didn't get a ticket and all was ok, except our peg board. But that didn't stop us, we are determined to do this.

 

I'm glad we did if for no other reason that meeting our new friends. I found he went to the same High School in Lennox Ca. WOW! He's one of my Homies! And he looks like a homie too. His wife is an artist, and we all just had a great time talking, laughing and exchanging information. Perhaps we'll do some more shows with them. Hope so.

 

I'd extremely fun watching Laurie really smile and come out when she is with like minded people. When I first met her, her art was dark, as well as her apartment etc. I've seen her blossom as well as her art. Her art is bright now with brilliant colors. Her clothes reflect more her inner self.  (I pick and buy her clothes) with her approval.

 

I am definitely Laurie's Ying to her Yang. And I bought her a ring recently with a Ying/Yang on it. It's one she like at Charlots shop in Cambria when we were there for the Scarecrow festival. Charlot has one of our favorite shops there. She sells her own jewelry and also sells tie-dye. A great gal and a fun shop.

 

I think getting our art out there is a good thing. Being an entertainer helps so much too, because if you aren't selling art, I can nickel and dime our money with face-painting and animal balloons. A talent I no longer take for granted. Not that I ever did. Being a balloon artist, being able to face-paint, juggle and do magic have served me well.

 

I have a feeling it will serve us both well when we are on the road again. It seems I'm able to get myself into pretty much any festival. There is always so hole I can fill.

 

All of this will help with our dream of getting a bigger RV. We figure this year will be the last year for the one we have now. I love the old Toyota, but have to admit it's better for one person. And when we had Jade for a time, having a big dog in there just didn't work.

 

I look forward to being able to get something bigger. I didn't think I'd ever say that, but then again, so much in my life has changed as well as my mind about many things.

 

My Mother once told me, when you get older, things from your youth are no longer needed and you develop new tastes. She is right once again.

 

Plus, we want to be able to do festivals and art shows, which means having to bring a lot of things. An easy-up, tables, etc. We did get it all in the car, but it was a challenge. Never underestimate the power of a woman, even if they are disabled in the eyes of the world.

 

Having Laurie be a strong female has helped with my journey. Her softness allows for my rough edges.

 

Enjoy your journey wherever you are. You'll get there, but remember, it's the JOURNEY!

 

Namaste' 

 

 

We had to drive Jade back to her last owner.....a sad day for us.

The day had been pretty much busy as usual because we are getting ready to get back on the road and there seems to be so much to get gone.

We got a call around 3pm from Minnie the gal we got our precious Jade from originally. After we told her we were unable to keep Jade, she always said she'd take her back. She said she was on her way to our home to pick her up and could be meet her half way. So, we loaded Jade and all her goodies in the car as well as Pickles, and off we went. It was a sad drive, but beautiful. Laurie and I both were so sad to see her go, but she had no where to really stretch her legs, and we weren't able to care for her as she should be cared for. Laurie can't run, nor can I.  She'd want to play and run and we weren't able to do that. Plus, when we took her to the dog park she would want to play with the other dogs and people took that as aggression so we weren't able to take her there anymore. It was just becoming a big burden on us rather than a blessing. Her fur shed terribly, so when they say that Labradoodles don't shed, they are wrong on that one. As for her smell, it was better than most dogs, but was there regardless.

We gave her a flea bath that day too, so that was nice. Flea season has been pretty bad, and we are on top of it as best we can. Pickles had a bath yesterday too. Not her favorite thing to do. She looks much better and feels better without all those fleas. I put on some oil to keep them off.

We are going to try to tackle all the other things that need to be done before we leave. Going to  try again to call the Action committee to see about having our heat done.
We have to figure out where our mail will go, what to bring, what not to bring.

We are going to try to go as light as possible due to the fact, we want to be able to bring all the rest of the stuff from the storage with us home and that way we will save another $30 a month for NOT having stuff there. We have a shed at home we are trying to empty to put the stuff in.

After this winter I'll probably sell the RV and get a bigger one or something different. We will see what the future brings. Right now, it'll get us where we need to go, and nicely I might say. Just have to get the toilet re-done from Rob the guy I paid good money to put in a new floor. He didn't connect the toilet properly and it leaks. ARF! I know it's not a major job, but just another thing to be done.

I'm still learning to cook for one or two in some cases. Laurie and I have different tastes when it comes to food. She is very limited, and I pretty much like everything. But I've cooked for many people for so long it's hard to cook for just two. I end up having to either throw out food, or give it to whomever is around me. But it's all good. At least we all get fed. I just don't like to waste anything.

I'm learning more about solar as well. More later......for now, I have to get back to work..........

Namaste

When a partner is under the weather

Alright, I am the first to admit, I don't like it when my partner is sick. I feel so helpless and codependent. I want to make everything better as fast as possible.

In this case, with Laurie today and the last two days, I've been doing my best to be a comforting partner, helpful, caring, and available. But I have to admit it's very hard. I don't like to see her in a weakened state. Now, I know how she must have felt during so much of my painful medical problems.

This is of course part of life and especially part of life with another person. You have to take the good days with the bad. Sometimes you just don't realize how bad the bad days are going to be. Don't get me wrong. Laurie had a colonoscopy and that's a pretty regular thing, but when it's done to someone like Laurie, it's a bigger deal than normal. It's hard to see her sick and not able to keep food down. I just want to make it all better and make it go away.

I'm so happy to have someone like her in my life now, I want to assure that she is healthy and happy. We have a long life ahead of us, and many more adventures to have, and I want some of my other friends to meet her that haven't had a chance yet. We have so much travel to do as well. When you finally find someone that works in your life, you don't want anything to mess with it.

I've never met anyone like Laurie, and her temperament is beyond anything I know. She's always happy, and rarely in a bad mood if ever. I've lived with her going on 3 years 24/7 and I can safely say she has been happy 99% of the time. I've never known anyone like her. She's taught me more by example than most anyone I've ever met. I believe in proof and actions speak louder than words. People have lied to me all my life, and tell me they will do this and that, but Laurie is the first one to really keep her word, and if she is unable will make up for it, or let you know. Totally honest. That is so rare, I won't ever let her go. She's way too precious.

I can understand why others have let her go, because she is everything they are NOT, and sometimes it's hard to live with someone like that, but if your life is an authentic life, it's not hard at all, in fact, it's a blessing.

I'm happy for all the experience Laurie had before me, and she feels the same of me. I've learned all the hard lessons, and have moved on with my life in a greater understanding, compassion, and empathy toward others and their journey. My journey has been one I wouldn't have missed for anything in the world. And now that Laurie is part of it, all the better.

We both have the need to help others in whatever way we are able. Most of the time, people just want to tell us their story and have someone interested. That would be Laurie and me. We listen to people hour after hour. It's our ministry. Both of us have licenses to be pastors of our own church. Laurie has been a pastor in MCC. So we both have experience with helping others. I've been giving back since I was 14 years old and was a member of the Mormon Church. I volunteered for everything they did. I enjoyed helping people I still do.

It's so important to us to get on the road and help all those we can. We have been able to help locally some, and can't wait to get on the road and do what we do best. I love to inspire others to follow their dreams. We enjoy telling others our stories. We both have very different stories that seem to resonate with others. I like that. The more I talk to people the more I find we are so alike.

Being on the road has been such a blessing to me, and for Laurie to tell me she believes we need to get back on the road was a dream come true. Staying in one place is very hard for me. I love being on the road and meeting new people, and seeing what is around the corner.

There is always a festival or something to celebrate in every town we visit. Can't wait to take more pictures this year than ever before. I have a new camera and am going to do my best to capture all the adventure we seem to find ourselves in.

We follow our hearts and turn down different roads sometimes as we drive and we have met some of the most interesting people, and think it was meant to be. I can't explain but when you know you were suppose to be friends it's a feeling that comes over you. Fun

Laurie and I have lots of jewelry made up to sell while we are on the road. And we are getting our beads and art stuff ready to go on the road and make stuff as we go along. This is the most fun of it all. Looking around the desert, for firewood, goodies, to use for art, and rocks. We love it all. We always seem to come home with a treasure if not many as we walk.

Last year we found a palm tree that had been there years and shed it's large leaves of which we used as firewood all the time were there at RiverLodge. We'd just go there daily and get what we needed for the evening, and have a lovely fire. Usually for the evening and the morning coffee. Life is but a dream.

I can't believe I was ever married, had kids, or had another life totally different from this one.

I don't miss my so called married life. I was my husbands sisters lover before being his wife. I knew Judy first. It just didn't work out between us due to drugs/drinking. Rick her brother didn't do drugs but did drink. Who knows how it would have turned out if I'd stayed with Judy rather than Rick. Both would have been a challenge.

What is important is I learned from my former life in order to be the kind of person I am now in my life. Laurie is pleased with my progress.

Laurie and I have found our place in this earth and we have found it together. I'm so proud of her, for all she's gone through and come out on top. She has had a lot of betrayal, as I have, so we both understand what it's like to be lied too, cheated on, and totally destroyed by those that proclaim to love us. So, we both understand the hurt involved, so we won't do that to each other.

I'm proud to call her my partner, and will protect her with everything I have while I'm alive.

Some of her family have forgotten her, and some of my own family did the same to me, so we are in the same boat on that one too.

Long ago lovers betrayed us, and we are now determined to be true to each other and tell the truth whatever that truth may be. Nothing hurts more than finding out you've been lied too.

Once you learn all these lessons, it's easier to be a good partner. You want to be treated as you would treat someone else.

I have loved others, but there is a different kind of love for Laurie. I have had passionate love where I couldn't stand to be away from them for even a moment, not healthy. We are our own person, and have different goals, and dreams, and we both respect that.

What I feel for Laurie is deeper, and worth much more. Not a physical thing, but a friendship/partner kind of thing.


In taking Jade back to Lake Havasu to the rescue people, it won't happen too soon. I love Jade, but she needs more room to roam. I'll be sorry to see her go in many ways.

Hope everyone is doing good tonight and thinking Mother Earth for all the gifts she gives us daily.

Namaste'

The Cold is upon us

It's the middle of September and it's already getting pretty cold in the evenings. Laurie has really been suffering with all this coldness.

Unfortunately, we are going to have to give back our dog Jade from the rescue people. We've tried very hard to train her and get her to work with Laurie, but have come to realize that her aggression toward other dogs, and people is not going to work as a service dog. We need a dog that will stand firm for Laurie to get up if she falls. Jade has a tendency to want to run toward other dogs and that will drag Laurie with her. It made us very sad, but we just can't keep her. We can't leave her alone that she destroys things in the house, and barks all the time.

We've been in talks with many trainers and they have specified that she really won't work as a service dog, but she will make someone a fabulous pet, and we will keep tabs on her to see where she ends up and how it is going.

With all that said, after the Pow Wow here locally I am going to visit a friend of mine for a week or so, and Laurie is going to drive to Lake Havasu, AZ and take Jade back to her former owner. She will get to be where it's warmer and less humidity. I will be up in the mountains with a friend. We will both be in our favorite elements.

Looks like our bathroom floor is going to get done after all. The guy that did it originally is coming back to re-do it and seal it better, as the toilet apparently wasn't sealed properly and leaked under the linoleum. All has to be pulled out and replaced.

Now, as the RV, it's looking good and driving wonderfully. I look forward to taking it up North and staying by the beach. I miss the woods and all the beautiful nature. I will cherish every moment.

So much concerning our health has been addressed. Laurie and I have had practically every test possible. I just got my Mammogram, Laurie did her last week. Blood tests, ekgs, you name it we've had it done. And all in all, we are doing pretty good. My blood pressure is up some, but I'm going to work on that one. I don't feel stressed or anything so don't know where that is coming from.

Next is my blood test. I'm a little afraid of that one. My blood sugars are up, and I'm working on that one very hard. I don't want the big D. My diet has totally changed. I'm working very hard on becoming a vegetarian, and perhaps a Vegan if possible. The more I learn the more I'm horrified about the treatment of our brother animals.Sad

I've really started doing beadwork again. My eyes have gotten better since 09. I've really been juicing and doing the best I can with diet to self heal. I believe you can do a lot of that yourself with attitude and determination. Knowledge is power.

I've also been taking my picture taking seriously. I bought my first camera at 16 on credit. The very first thing I bought on credit. I was so proud of that camera and took pictures constantly. I haven't changed. I'm back to a lot of what I enjoy. Somehow along the way, I've been so busy being busy, I haven't been enjoying the things I enjoy the most. Those days are over, and I'm so happy to say, the little child in me has come back with a bang. I love it.

I'm so looking forward to the future and all it entails. I've decided to accept the gifts given and not suppress anything. I've been blessed with so many talents and gifts, that I've not appreciated in the past, but now I'm ready to receive them with open arms.

I've eliminated the negative, and looking forward to the positive. I'm blessed beyond belief, and I'm so grateful. I'm grateful for Laurie in my life and the sunshine she brings to me. The acceptance I've craved and looked for all my life is in one little package called my partner. I've waited for her all my life. I'm grateful. When someone tells you they won't leave you no matter what, that is powerful. More powerful than I even realized at the time.

She accepts me as is, and doesn't try to change me. This is a good thing. I am a handful, this I admit, and there are only certain people that could be with someone like me. My mind is becoming sharper, and more focused on goals for the future.

I've been talking to Laurie about moving from here. Or at least getting another place in the woods, or more remote. I'm really tired of the crowded city and it sucks up my soul and junks it. Too much noise, people fighting, sirens at all hours, violence, and it's dirty. I long for the paths to walk that are soft and quiet. I just want to sit in the woods and listen.

If we are unable to do this, I'll just be taking more and more trips to visit friends in the woods.

I hate politics, and want to forget about them for awhile. These people who are suppose to be OUR servants are just getting rich. The tea party people are really causing so much heartache to everyone. I'm of course watching them self destruct if it wasn't so sad it'd be funny. But it is fun to watch them act like little kids on a playground that don't get along. For that I'm enjoying this silly stuff, but it's holding this Country hostage, and it's hurting everyone.

I voted for the first time when Obama ran. Before that, I really didn't see any reason, didn't think my vote counted. That has all changed now. I kind of follow the politicians and what they stand for, and I can say many disturbs me. I've voted the best I could do, by being informed, not just one source but many. It sure takes a lot of time to do all that. Locally and on a National level.  I also didn't opt out of jury duty. I had many people tell me how to get out of it, and I decided that I wasn't going to do that. I'm healthy enough to be able to serve, so I'm doing it. But alas, they didn't need me. But at least, I didn't shuck my duty.

I'm thrilled with my progress and coming full circle. I've watched Laurie bloom these last two years. Her eyes have been opened to so much, it's fun watching her discover so much. Life is good for us for sure. We are like two kids and the world is our playground.

Getting the RV fixed today!

It's the wee moments in the morning I enjoy. I have a freshly made cup of coffee, I'm listening to my uplifting tapes on Youtube, and getting ready for the day.

The last few months I've been going through this questioning period. Questioning what true friendships are all about. I have distanced myself from many of my old time friends because of this questioning. I have a tendency to hold on to things much longer than I should. It's sometimes hard to let things go that feel comfortable. But, I've come to find out that sometimes you must purge your life of people who really aren't at the level in life you are, who are insisting to be in their crazy life as it were.

I never took the time to examine the questions I should have. Will they be there for me? Will they root me on in my quest for a better understanding of life? Will they be there if I should fall and need someone to pick me up? Important things to know.

I'm also struggling with those people in my life that have a believe system that I have trouble with. Religion is the worse. My sister is a Mormon and this has divided our family to the point my brother won't connect with Phyllis in any way. And because I had the nerve to say I didn't like her cult either, I was ripped a new one from my step mom. Fortunately, I can't be bullied anymore or intimidated, so I'm trying to figure out how to get through this without ruffling anymore feathers.

I'm almost there. I have to address it soon. I know we can come to some kind of civil way of moving forward.

The really good news that has come out lately is that we are getting the RV fixed today. New shocks in the tune of $700! Ouch, but it's all good. We are going to be a bit short this month perhaps but we will be able to get to Parker, AZ and Quartsite. I look forward to seeing the Colorado River and seeing how Jade our new dog will think..

Speaking of our new dog Jade, we have found out that she doesn't get along well with other dogs! We took her to the dog park and twice she's run after another dog to attack, and we can't have that. She also doesn't like men. She'll growl at them and we are afraid she'll bite, so we keep her on a short leash. Of course, this is going to restrict our movements. But we are working on trying to teach her. She barks a lot too, so this is another challenge.

But we do know she loves to travel. She already knows the RV and can't wait to get into it and take a ride. She sits right in the middle so she can see everything. So, at least that is a good one on our side. She's a love, but a challenge as any new animal is to a home. We had it pretty good with Pickles. She's really a low maintenance dog other than having to take her to the groomers. She's easy to take care of.

Recently we've been really getting busy on making jewelry of all sorts. I find we can sell them anywhere pretty much, just have to show them around. I'm hoping to get a display case again, because the jewelry looks so much better in one. I'm sorry I sold the one I had, but we needed the money at the time.

Laurie's tests have come back and all is well so far. I'm very thankful for that. She finally got into the system and now they are doing all the tests to see how far the osteoporosis has gotten, and the MS. She's doing pretty good with walking and such, but we've been on a donut kick and we need to cut that out, as she is suffering. I told her I'd go the bakery because when she goes we come home with extra sugar I can't resist when they make it home.

We will have all our meds, and tests done for this year, and can enjoy our time in AZ without all that to worry about. Nice! We are going to concentrate on selling our art, and enjoying our time there with friends.

Life is a struggle at times, but it's so worth all we go through to learn and be happy. I am going to try to not watch the news as much and not get so involved into politics. I will vote, and keep that right of course, but I think I'll take a step back from the workings of the world. I find peace when I don't know all these things. I thought I was being informed, but I find being informed comes with it much weight. Heavy weight. I also find there isn't much I can do to change it, other than be the best person I can be. To allow those to believe a man in the sky will come save us all, and not laugh, but honor their journey regardless.

These are my struggles. Laurie and I try to understand everyone and give them an audience. We both share the thought of helping those that need it, or ask for it. We usually end up just being a sounding board but that's ok too. This is the work I've always done. But I find as I get older, I have more compassion for those struggling. I've pretty much struggled with so many things, I can relate to many people. And Laurie can relate to the ones I cannot. So, it's a nice blend we have with the journey's we've taken and found each other.

Laurie is a blessing given to me to understand so much I have been struggling with. She's helped me with much of my being able to go forward with Peace. I saw she was able to do it without judgment. She has struggled with forgiving, and struggles with a sister not speaking to her and I see how it affects her, and because of that, it's prompted me to continue my relationship with my sister. I get it. I don't wish to cause anyone any hurt.

If we could all see what we do to each other over petty things. To feel what others feel when we say hurtful things. I know I'm more aware of my speech. I'm no where close to where I'd like to be, but I'm at least aware.