Algodones Mexico

Warm weather welcomed Marilyn and myself into Algodones, Mexico. The border crossing closest to Yuma Arizona. 

Our drive from Santa Maria, CA was uneventful and pleasent. We talked about camping and listened to the radio to let the time pass. My friend Marilyn said she'd drive because she had just gotten a new Fiat. What a cute car. I love it and hope to maybe someday get one like it. You can't beat the gas mileage of 40mpg. That's my kind of car.

We stopped to eat and ended up getting there around 5pm. We checked in to the Hotel Algodones, then decided to walk around town a bit before everything closed. 

We found ourselves in an open cafe' with a lounge type singer. Lots of other Grindo's there having a great time, singing along, having a margarita. My kind of crowd. 

The food was fabulous, and lots of it. The drinks were a little watered down, but good just the same. But you can't beat the entertainment. I've always preferred live music to a juke box. 

Laurie wasn't able to go because we couldn't get her passport in time. But we are hoping to get it by fall and go together again, now that I"ve been there and know what it's all about. I feel safer taking her there. Sure missed her while I was gone, as well as Pickles. 

They were both glad to see me, as I was them when I returned. We are rarely apart, so it feels strange not being together anymore. When Laurie and I met on July 4th, 2011 we have been together 24/7 since. It feels better the more we are together. Although we are very different in many ways, we come together as one at the end of the day. It's very nice to know at the end of the day you have a friend, companion, and someone that truly cares about your well being. I'm so grateful for her.    

 

 This is pottery row. It's not as large as it once was covering blocks and blocks, now there are just a few places like this one that carry pretty much anything.

 This is my dentist. He was so nice and helpful telling me step by step what he was going. Almost pain free.

 Marilyn and I having our first meal and Margarita. Yummy! The gentleman behind us sang to us while we ate. Lovely time to relax before the dentist.

 This is Hotel Algodones courtyard. Beautiful Hotel and the people that work there are very nice and helpful. They have a shuttle that will take you into town anywhere you want to go and pick you up for free. Of course, there is a tip jar.

 This is Isrial. He is usually all smiles so it's funny he's not smiling in this picture. He was a lot of help to us while we were there, directing us to what we needed. Taco's yum

I have been looking forward to going to Algodones for a very long time. I used to go there 10 years ago when I lived in Blythe. It was very different then, but basically it's the same I suppose.

I found I couldn't get the same meds I was once able to get. Even with a prescription I couldn't get Vicodin or any of my other pain medicine. I've also noticed they no longer sell perfume as they once did. Now days, it's all about the dental work and glasses. 

I got a lovely pair of glasses, with bi-focals, and turn dark outside for the wonderful price of $135.00 including the exam. Can't beat that with a stick! I am very pleased with my trip there.

 I was also able to get myself and Laurie a new purse. I got a backpack and got just the perfect purse for her as well. I got 4 cigars for my neighbor from Cuba, and a few other little trinkets that made me happy.

I look forward to going back in the fall and getting more dental work done. It's starting to get humid and hot. Not bad, but enough to tell me I don't want to go back until it cools off again.

Now Laurie and I are getting ready for our trip to Lake Havasu Arizona. Laurie lived there when I met her in 2011. I lived there with her for 6 months before we moved into the RV and on the Colorado river.

We've got to pick up the stuff we left in a storage unit there. Hope we never do that again. Leaving things behind and having to go back and get them is a bigger hassle that we originally thought. It took us a year to be able to get back there to pick it up and that cost us a little bit over $750 in storage fee's. Hate it!  

It will be nice to be back in the area. We have friends we are going to try to go see while there, as well as try to see a couple we met while traveling. They are staying at The River Lodge, and hopefully we will be able to connect and get caught up. 

The one good thing about being on the road, is meeting people that become fast friends. Since changing my phone and number, I'm going to have to get on the ball and let others know of my new number. 

Today we are going to get things sewed up so we can be gone for a week. We have the neighbor that will water the garden I've just put in. In fact, last night I finished planting all I have room to plant at this time. I'm going to work more on the garden when I return. It's hard to concentrate on things when you know you are going out of town.

We will have to go through all our stuff once we get to Lake Havasu. I'm not sure if we will be able to get it all in the mini-van we rented. We've decided what doesn't fit will be left behind.

But in the meantime, it's nice being home and not having to go anywhere for a couple of days. 

I had a gig Saturday as a clown and it went very well. It was a large party and I mainly did balloons, and everyone was happy. I was tired, but managed to dance and have a good time anyway. The money will help with all that was spent in Mexico. I have a few more gigs this month, thank goodness.

 Clowning has taken a different direction for me lately. Not only have children changed throughout the years so have the parents. It doesn't hold the same spark as it once did. When you know you aren't really appreciated and loved, it's hard to get into it anymore. I know there are certain children that still have the innocence and for them it makes it worthwhile. But anymore, children are little adults. They grow up so quick, no time for childhood anymore. With all the technology in their lives they don't seem to relate to one another as we did as kids. 

I have to admit I'm so grateful I brought my kids up in the era I did. My kids didn't even mess with computers yet. They were in high school by the time they cared about any of that, and they spent most of their time outside. Those days are gone for many kids now days. When you see commercials telling kids to go out and play on TV you know somethings wrong. It saddens me.

  Today is a bit gloomy, so I'm not sure what I'll get done today. Perhaps nothing. I'm trying to learn to do nothing and it's ok. Being disabled is a process I'm learning. I keep thinking I can do what I used to be able to do, I'm so wrong. Laurie has watched my process of learning what NOT to do anymore. I get reminded with pain when I do something I'm not able to do when I was able bodied.

Learning to be disabled isn't an easy road when you are used to doing everything for yourself. Having someone else do things for you is hard, but necessary. It's all a learning curve. The thing is to be grateful instead of resentful. I'm now on the other side of the coin, where I must learn to let others do for me. I was the caregiver all of my life, so now it's time to turn that job over to someone else. Since I have trouble walking at the end of the day, I must rely on a cane, or some type of walker. Wow, that came into my life sooner than I ever thought.

I did get my disabled fishing license. I'm thrilled. My surf fishing pole is in Lake Havasu, and I look forward to bringing it back and doing some fishing. Nothing like fresh fish caught and eaten that day. When I lived in Oceano a block from the  beach I'd get up at 4 a.m. and surf fish, and come home around 8 a.m. with a bucket of surf perch.  Wonderful memories.

Hope everyone's Easter was fun and full of family and friends. Hopefully this year we as humans can find a way to get along, and realize we are all wanting peace and happiness in our lives. It's possible.

I've found when I live in gratefulness I'm peaceful and happy. I lack nothing. 

But when I start thinking in the way of lack is when I find myself feeling badly, so I'm trying to focus on my wealth of blessings. I wish this for you as well.

Namaste'   

  

 

        

The VW Rally

 These are the people we went to the rally with. My friend Marilyn is next to Laurie, Marilyn's roomy, Pat and gentleman. I'm bad on names, I'll have to add them later.
 

 This is Engine Joe I'm assuming because that is what is said on his shirt. He was playing the flute as we were walking up the hill. Nice guy and great flute player.

 My friend Marilyn. She's a hoot.

 Laurie very happy on our day out.

 Us having a fabulous time.

A lovely moment in time.



When we talked to Marilyn about going to this rally I thought it was going to be in the town of Solvang. Turns out it was in a very nice park. 

Seeing the VW's in various stages of restoration was so much fun. It brought back memories to Laurie and I both. Since my teen years were spent in the 70's I have a rich history with VW's. I've never owned on but had many friends that did. Two people I dated picked me up in VW's.

The rally had a thing going on with buying tickets and picking for prizes. I loved it. The BBQ was free of which we enjoyed very much. The hamburgers were perfect, and the company  couldn't be beat. To eat fresh food out in the woods with friends is my idea of a great Sunday. 

After the rally our friends decided to play cards. Laurie and I didn't know how to play the game they were playing so we decided to recycle. And brother did we have fun! We filled our car with cans, bottles, and plastic. We think we collected enough to pay our gas there, our raffle tickets and gas home. Sweet! We giggled all the way home and talked about all the fun we had.

We were pretty tired by the time we got home, but it was the most wonderful of tired. It's times like these that are cherished for always. How blessed we are.

 

We're Back!

We are back writing on our blog. We weren't able to get into our account, but just figured it out. Geeze. When you are technology challenged, sometimes it takes awhile to get things done.

So many things have been happening. 

I finally got my SSI, and now have Medical. This is HUGE! I am now able to get my meds and it doesn't cost us anything, where as before it was an average of $50. May not sound like much but when you are living on $255. a month, that is a lot.

I'll be leaving in a few days for Mexico to have my teeth done. My friend Marilyn is going to drive because she has a new car that gets about 38 miles to the gallon. Sweet. I told her I'd pay the gas if she'd drive. I'm hoping to get my vitamins and many other things I used to get there when I lived in Blythe. Being familiar with this cute little town and it's business'. 

We'll be staying in a Hotel there two blocks from the dental clinic and they have a shuttle from the Hotel to the Sani Dental Clinic. Also have a shuttle from the border to the Hotel too. It's so efficient. They want those American dollars. 

I'm excited to see how I'll look without this damn hole in my front tooth. I hope to get my front teeth done this trip, and perhaps the back teeth another time. This has been a dream come true. Coming from a one parent family and dirt poor, kids made fun of me because I had crooked teeth. I never got to see a dentist, so I'm so grateful and blessed to be able to see a dentist and have work done. I was bullied so badly and called 'snaggletooth  all my young years.  Not something I'm proud of. 
 

Wish I could afford them in the states, but doesn't look like that is happening soon, and besides, why pay double when you get the same work done for less than half. Customer service is beyond wonderful and the people are so helpful and kind. I love Mexico, it's people, food, and just about all of it.

     Laurie and I are doing great. Other than the fact we hurt pretty good when the humidity hits. She with her MS and me with all my problems. I'm finally getting the fact I'm truly disabled and it won't likely change. So now I'm trying to figure out how to do the same things but differently. A big challenge.

Laurie and I got our flowers planted today. I bought them and we took drawers from an old dresser and filled them with dirt and planted cucumbers, peas, and beans in them and put them up against a fence so they can climb. This is going to be the biggest garden we've ever had. Last year, we had a few veggies going on in the 4x7 plot in our area. This year I've expanded it due to gardening in pots and whatever I can find and get away with;.

We went to a thrift store that was going out of business and bought a pvc pipe hanging plant hanger. It is painted like bamboo and looks just like it. I cleaned it up, planted it with flowers and hung it outside our mobile home and it's beautiful. Hopefully later I can get a picture posted. It's been a long day and we're pretty tired right now. 

It's a good kind of tired. Got the shed cleaned out, and the stuff we didn't need taken to the thrift shop. Clothes getting clean in the laundry. Planted a garden. Love it when things get done. On good days we can both get so much done. Hope we didn't over do it. That would be just like us.

Hope you are having a great week-end. Please be kind to each other and know we are all doing the very best we can. Forgive, love more, and mean what you say.

Namaste'
May the Great Spirit Bless you with every breath.

The Weather isn't cooperating with my plans

The weather has been damp and over cast. I just can't seem to get motivated with weather like this. I'm doing a bit better this morning. It's getting colder rain is in the forcast. I have to cover the RV with the tarp as I've not been able to get the roof sealed. I've had it done twice but they keep missing a place in the back that leaks into the closet if not covered. 

I was thinking of trying to get the painting done today, but think it's too cold and wet to attempt it. I'm just going to have to cool my jets and do something else. 

I'm not very disciplined, and that's something I'm going to have to change. 

I've got to get on a schedule. When you work for yourself, sometimes you can get in a funk and not get anything done for long periods of time. I have gotten myself in a rut and I need to get back on the ball and get things done. 

Laurie and I are getting things together to take to a certain shop that is well know around here for their mystical art and having card readings on Sunday and such. One I've been going to since the 70's. Laurie has some of her seaweed people ready and I have a couple of rattles and painted feathers. I'm also going to take some of my wall hangings made with oranges, lemons and such. I've made a few more I need to take pictures of and post when I find the time.

At least we can get our art in different venues in order for it to be seen by the most people. Since Laurie and I do all kinds of different art, it's exciting to see which pieces people gravitate too. I'm anxious to see how my fruit hangings go over. I know Linda a friend of mine really loved hers, and she doesn't get excited about that much anymore. A great compliment. I used to design flowers for her flower shop in the 80's. We've been friends ever since.

In fact, she has an RV very similar to mine. She rarely takes hers out anymore if ever. Too bad. I hate to see boats, RV's, and all kinds of fun toys just sit.

I'm thinking that a canoe or kayak would be fun to have on my vision quest. A scooter would be helpful as well. They are on the wish list.

Oh dear, I just heard on the news gas is going up again. Rats! Can't seem to catch a break on that one. And I think of all the Circus' and people on the road who make their living. It really puts a dent in what you make. I know on the road I'm going to have to drive to swap-meets and such to sell my wares unless I come up with a better plan.

I'm learning to live more fugal as is Laurie. She's liking this new journey. She didn't recycle until I came along, and now takes great pride in recycling and coming home with cans and plastic. She's learned what goes in the trash and what can be recycled into something else or let the state figure it out. I love it all. 

She's also learning about recycling in kitchen. All the coffee grounds and peelings from potatoes etc go in a bucket and then go outside to the compost pile and from there to the garden. I've been growing carrots, lettus, and radishes. I love to see her face when she pulls them up for the first time. She's never had a garden. She's from Jersey if that helps. Ha ha.

We are forging again together and figuring it all out. How to live on the smallest of budgets and still have a good quality of life. As long as we have our art supplies, we are pretty happy.

Laurie and I are pretty blessed. We may not have the best but we have all we need usually. I do have to tell ya a giggle. We were down to our last roll of toilet paper half gone before our check came in the mail. Now that's being blessed! We are toilet paper queens once more...........awwwwww, life's special moments!            

Wall Hangings and Art

This is the newest wall hanging I finished this evening. It's made with blood oranges dried and sprayed and strung with beads and driftwood. I've made them with regular oranges and am going to make them with lemons tomorrow. I've got them all dried, sprayed and ready to go. All I have to do is find more driftwood. It's getting more and more of a challenge to do so. There are so many people around here anymore, and the rangers are not as tolerant of people picking things up from the beach. I was shocked when I was stopped once not very long ago and was told I couldn't gather things from the beach. Gee whiz. I thought that was what the beach was for personally.

This piece is going to a shop in Arroyo Grande as well as quite a few other pieces from me and Laurie. We've been busy getting our art ready for sale in shops. This is exciting and fun for sure. All the hard work is about to pay off. Having our art in galleries and shops for sale is a dream come true. I've sold art this way most of my life, but every time I put my things in a shop I feel so proud. My art medium is different in many ways. I make art out of things from the earth. I see art in most things really. 

Laurie has been busy putting the last minute fixes and paint on her pieces as well. The rainy season is a good time to get these type of things done for the Spring when we will do art shows. Have to have enough pieces to sell.  Blood oranges are hard for me to find, but I'm going to look around and see if I can find others that have them and buy what I can.

I'm feeling a bit better. Laurie and I have suffered this winter with being cold, sinus, headaches, aches and pains. Next year we plan on being somewhere else more warm and dry. The rainy season here on the Central Coast is rough sometimes. It is when your pain depends on the humidity as well it's those days that we don't look forward too. This is why Laurie liked Arizona so much. Not my favorite place in the summer for sure.

Speaking of Arizona, many of our friends are already in Parker or Quartsite AZ. I so wish we were there, but we have Dr. business and attorney stuff to get done before I can really take off and travel. Laurie will be joining me along the way for a few days to a couple of weeks at various spots along the way. Laurie said she'll keep the home fires burning while I go out and find new adventures.  This is perfect in my mind. Laurie will be able to do her writing and art while I'm gone and I can come  home and enjoy home life when the road gets to be too much, or I get to missin' Laurie too much. 

I want to take more pictures and more notes when I travel this time. I say that pretty much every time, and end up so tired at the end of the day from all the fun I forget to write down everything. I have to be more disciplined. 

I'm not planning on taking a TV with me. This too may change. If I could get wi-fi everywhere I wouldn't bother with a TV and watch Youtube most of the time. I'll have to see what I decide as the time gets closer to get on the road. I can always come home and pick it up if I miss it that much. But I notice since being here and home all the time, I watch more TV that I care to admit. I'm hoping this will change soon. I'm weak.

 This one is made with regular oranges

 This one is interesting because the wood is made from a cactus skeleton I found in the desert by Parker, AZ. The shells come from Morro Bay, Ca. 

Laurie and I are so blessed to be able to do our passion daily. To have someone that understands your passion for art and seeing things come together to make a piece to be proud of. 

I love to see peoples faces when they come over to our home. First of all, it's pretty humble to start off, then it's filled with everything we've made. All the art on the walls is our own, and the painting have been painted by Laurie, right down to the shades on our lamps that I've painted and made an art piece. 

It's really fun to have someone in your life that you can trust to tell you the truth whether it's what you want to hear or not, but your know it's honest. That is rare. Laurie and I have been so blessed to have found each other. We've both been through some heavy stuff in life. To know that we now have someone that we love, trust, and have to be there good, bad, and wonderful. She's been there for me while I've been pretty sick and unable to do much for myself, and for that I'll always be grateful. I've tried to give Laurie the life she deserves. She deserves to be appreciated and loved. I've waited for her all my life and want to make sure she knows how grateful I am to have her in my life. I don't take her love and devotion lightly. We are a team first and foremost. WE are FAMILY.
 

Today is friday and so far I haven't gotten any gigs for this week-end. I was sure hoping anyway. We are broke and need the money right now. 

On a lighter note, I had a nice time at the Discovery Museum in Santa Maria. They had me come and give a talk about what it's like to be a Circus Clown. I had a great time. I felt so important and like a star. Sometimes as a clown you are a star in some childs world and I love it. I love to make children smile. I enjoy it more now than ever before. 

In my early career, I was more worried about how the the shows would go, was worried about everything looking just right etc, but now it's more about the fun. As it should have been all along. I found I'm not the only clown that allowed the professionalism get in the way of the fun. I know better now. 

Work has been coming in steady. That's pretty good without any advertising. I hope to start advertising soon. Maybe get into the yellow pages. Who knows. 

Laurie is doing great so far. She's getting into her Buddhist group and goes to the meetings and is meeting all kind of neat people. I go now and then, but I'm not much to go out after dark anymore. I never understood that about others when I was young, now I get it. I just don't want to be out anymore after dark. And so many meeting take place at night. I may change this in the future, because there are so many things that I enjoy doing that go on at night. 

Laurie has been steadily doing her art. She is submitting them to different shows for sale. We'll see.I think she'd do better locally, but she has her own way of doing things, and I'm learning to just let it go and let her do her own thing. 

We have been creating a lot lately. I enjoy this very much. Laurie and I have been creating dolls from seaweed. It's nice to be able to create when you feel like it and have all the materials in order to do that. I have been dreaming of this type of life all my life. It's finally here. Just wish I was pain free in order to enjoy it better. Either way I'm good. 

I've had a hard time with emotions lately. I've not been on medication in a very long time. Last time I took some it made me mean and nasty. Yikes! I wish they could find one that works for me. There have been times when the emotional turmoil was made better by medication, so I'm hoping that will happen again soon. Poor Laurie has been so kind and understanding, I have to give it to her. But I have a feeling she's gone through this before. From the sounds of her past partners they sounded unstable to a degree. 

We are thinking of therapy for couples. We both have issues that could be addressed, and it's a thought, but so far, it's just a thought. 

I've been spending time in the RV getting it ready for the first chance to take it out. I miss living in it very much. I used to think of what it would be like to have a place again. And it's nice, but it's not the RV. I woke up in the RV ready for an adventure. In the trailer, I wake up thinking of all the shit that needs to be done. Yuck. Clean this, fix that, move those things, put that away, do this do that, it's just too much of that and not enough getting out as I once did. I'm not much for domestic bliss as they call it. I'd rather be on the road exploring. And I hope to do that again soon.

Laurie really enjoys being at home. She's so much like my Mother at times it's almost scary. She like my Mother enjoyed being at home watching TV and just putzing around. I get it. It's safe. I want Laurie to feel safe. If nothing else, she's safe with me. I want her to be happy and content, and it seems this is happening for her. That makes me happy.

It's a small trailer, so we are trying to find places for everything. My clowning career can take up an entire room in itself. So, it's been kinda hard to get things in place. It all takes time I suppose. 

We couldn't live in a better place. Safe and clean. The pool is wonderful as well as the people around here. It's much different than other mobile home parks I've been in. I've seen terrible turmoil in places like this when some are allowed to bully others. Glad to be here. It could have been terrible. To buy a place, you have to sell it if you want to move. That makes things harder. 

There are a few places for sale here now. I have a friend that is looking for a safe place to be that is cheaper than her place. This is it. I'm trying to talk to her about coming here. She lives in Bakersfield. Yuck! Who would live there? It's such a terrible place. Dirty, hot, and just plain yucky. But glad there are people that love it, as there are too many people here locally.

I've just found out that another person I don't care for has just moved back into the area. I thought we were done with her. I saw her at Pride. Geeze. Amberlyn has caused to much crap in the Gay community, they were glad when she left. Whatever happened in San Diego didn't work or something because she's back. ARF. She started rumors about me, that went viral and I've not been able to stand her since. She didn't have the nerve to come to me in person and say she had a problem with me, she went behind my back. Unexceptable in my book. But I'm not going to let it stop me from doing anything I choose. After all I know what people really think of her, and she's just another person that is trying to muck her way through life. She just has a negative way of going about it.

Funny how things come and go in waves. I've just re-connected with some people I've been friends with over 30 years. I'm hoping to see them and talk to them and get better connected with them and stay connected. Now, that I live in the area again, I'm going to re-connect with those that have been a good influence in my life. I've neglected my friendships, and I don't want to do that anymore. The older I get the more important the people are in my life. 

I guess I let Judy W and that group of friends go because they were connected to a point with my ex Judy and Rick P. I don't want any further dealings with the ponds clan, so I locked out of my life anyone that was associated with them in any way. It was easier to do it that way while I was mourning my son. It's hard enough losing a son, let alone having to deal with heartless ex-in-laws. I'm just glad most of the hurt feeling are starting to fade some. 

I just thought that when you lose someone like a son, that people would be coming over, cooking, or doing something like what I see on TV. Caring, calling, cards. I got NONE of that. I didn't have anyone come over and do anything for me. I just mourned alone. I went through most everything major alone. Which tells me what a strong person I really am ALONE. I have more friends than most, but for some reason, no one felt the need to help me through my sons death. I noticed that most people just avoid the conversation of my son. Weird really. I don't get it, but I've never been able to understand people. Some people showed up for the Celebration of life for Cory when I had it at Avila Beach. Two people showed up that weren't even invited Pat and Ronnie Ponds and brought beer no less!!!!!! I was horrified, and that was the end of the relationship with them. I've not had anything to do with them since. I was friends and a relative to them for over 30 years. Sometimes you have to walk away from those that don't have your best interest at heart! 

I've missed them at times, but not really very much. Not like I thought I would. First of all, I got a clear mind now to see what was happening around me that I just let go and didn't do anything about. I now realize what a terrible relationship I had with these people. I thought they were helping me.  was so wrong. Pat started being so mean to Ronnie, I couldn't stand to be around them anymore. Pat would start drinking early and by noon be drunk and mean. Funny when we first met she didn't drink or smoke anything. Now, she does it all. Sad to s

Another Year gone A New Dawn Arises

As this year comes to an end one can't help reflect about events that has occurred. As a Nation we just went through one of the worse school shootings ever in PA. It seems there are so many shootings these days, everyone says 'which one'. It's all so sad to me, that as a Nation we can't trust our schools to be safe anymore. I thought we were progressing for the betterment of man and it seems the more knowledge we have the more violence we have as well. We have always been a violent bunch but with all this mental illness going on, it's really taken it's toll on us. If we could deal with our mentally ill in a human manner that would be a beginning.

I know it's a big issue with me and many of my friends. We see how others are treated around us, and quite frankly even myself. I've gone in for help many times to be turned away. I had one place in WA state that I went in with serious problems I needed help with, just for them to tell me they didn't have anyone qualified to help me. In other words, they told me that they didn't have anyone on staff that was gay or knew about gay issues so therefore they couldn't help me. I sat there 2 hours to be told that in the end. I could see how people go 'postal'.

I've never been able to get any kind of counseling. I've tried for many years, and still to this day haven't been able to find any kind of help. I went to Cal Poly for a bit. I was counseled by a student. I found it uncomfortable and didn't go back after two tries. She was just too young to understand anything I was going through and she was way too beautiful. I found myself looking at her and thinking how lovely she was rather than concentrate on what I was talking about. So, that one I failed to used to my full advantage.

I just wish we could get a better system in place for those that need help. People feel helpless and with a mental illness it makes everything seem worse than it is by the most part. I know someone myself that has mental illness that is living on the streets. I actually know a few. It's so sad but there isn't any funds for them and as long as they don't cause a fuss people ignore them.

This past year has really gone fast. I've been reflecting on what got done and what didn't. Now, I'm trying to get plans in the works for this coming year. Laurie has been steadily going forward with her plans and she's about as happy as they come. She is making progress with her Buddhist group and is becoming a leader. I'm so proud of her. She seems to be flourishing here and making friends. This is definitely the place she was meant to be for now. She's been working on her new book, and I'm so happy for her. She has the back bedroom in order to have privacy and be able to have quiet when necessary.

I've been writing a bit on my book but not seriously as I should. I've been sidetracked with friends and family visiting. These are the times I love, when I can talk and cook for my friends. It's been so much fun to be able to cook for family and my friend Tree. I made some chili the other day and it's about gone. I also include our neighbor in our 'pots of gold' as I call them. I love to make pots of food and share. I'm like the little Italian lady that keeps telling ya to eat some more. I'm happiest when people are sitting around talking and eating my food.

One reason I haven't been writing as I used too, is that I don't have the same writing ability I had before my brain injury. I don't write as eloquent as I once did darn it. I sometimes read some of my writings before the fall, and they are so thoughtful and well written, it's hard to believe that I was the one that actually wrote it. I guess I'm writing this blog mainly to get some of that back. Hope you can bare with me on this one.

I've had people contact me and tell me they appreciate my honesty when it comes to opening up my life and telling honestly as best I can about things going on in my life. I do it sometimes to let others know, we aren't perfect people and it takes a lifetime sometimes for some of us to get the clue and it's the journey that is really important. I know since my son died in 09 I've come the furthest in my life. It was a total wake up call for this gal. Wish it hadn't taken such a harsh reality check to straighten me out, but sometimes that's what it takes.

I've been more careful who I've let in my life, and I'm still weeding out people. I've let a few more go this past month that have been in my life a very long time. I've decided that superficial relationships aren't worth my effort anymore. I want to put my efforts toward people that are truly important to my life and stop with all the rest. I realize how short life is now, and don't want to waste anymore time on those that don't have the time for me.

I've been so foolish when it comes to others. I've given and given and for so many they really didn't care about me, just what they could get out me. I've been very co-dependent most of my life and really have to try to keep it in check. I was brought up that way. It's hard to change a lifetime of habit, but it must be done.

I've been sad recently about all the violence and killing around the world. I feel helpless and wish I could do something to help.

Laurie said to me I need to find what I want to do and then go out and do it. I know what I want to do, I just haven't figured out how to do it yet. I've decided to really work hard on 'my project' and see about it coming to life.

I've been hinting around about it, and finally going to try to put it in action. I want to travel and do a year (or more) of service then write a book about it. That is my goal. I would like to travel whenever life takes me on the road and wherever I land I want to go into town and find out where the senior homes are, as well as anyone else that could benefit a giggle or two and see about showing up and just doing it. I want to make balloon animals all over the US and live on donations. I think that would be a hoot. People are so generous and wonderful I know it would work.

I don't want to get famous or have TV coverage, just want to get out there and see the world and help along the way. A year of Service. They say be the change you wish to see in the world, well, I am going to do just that. I have a talent and can use it for the betterment of the world, so why not? I don't feel the need to work and build a home or anything of the like. I've raised my kids and done all I was 'supposed' to do in life as they say, now I want to do what I want to do. Funny how you get older and you don't care what others think anymore, it's about the journey and what YOU think. Wish I'd picked  up on that years ago.

I