A new addition to the family

This is Jade our new addition to the family. She comes to us through dog rescue in Arizona. We told them we were looking for a Labradoodle and two years latter we have one. And she is wonderful to say the least. She has fit in perfectly to our family.

The one thing we have noticed is that we are going to need a larger place. When she sits down on the floor there isn't much room to move around her. But we love her dearly already. She's taken to Laurie just as she should and is learning to help her walk steady. It will take a little work, but she is well trained and we are just thrilled to have her.

We've been taking Jade to the dog park and it's been a delight to watch her run with Pickles. Speaking of Pickles, she is getting used to the fact that she is no longer an only child. We praise them equally and love on them the same to make sure all is well in our home.


       Getting ready for the yard sale

We have been working endlessly on this yard sale we are going to have next Saturday. It's lots of work, but hope we do good, as we have to get the RV ready for the road. It's going to be a tight fit now with Jade, but I'm sure be can figure out something.

I've been taking things off the wall to sell. Everything must go. We are going to sell the trailer as well. It was nice living here for the year, almost two really, but it's time to move on. I'm getting tired of being shoulder to shoulder with others. I'm not much of a person to be around the same people day after day and routine.

I crave the adventures we had on the road. This same old stuff day in and day out is too much for me. I've been watching way too much TV!

We have been creating a lot of art. Laurie paints daily. I have to be in the mood to do all the beading I've been doing, but I'm starting to enjoy it again. I've set up my bead box. It's quite large. I bought one for Laurie for her paint. We are trying to scale down all our paints and art supplies so we will be able to move around the RV at this time.

We still have a storage in Lake Havasu, but it's smaller and doesn't cost much. We keep things in there we don't want to drag along on a daily basis. Works for us at this time. I'll love it when we aren't having 1/2 as much as we do. I'm getting rid of more things as we speak. I find I need less and less as I get older, and I'm loving that.

Laurie and I are going to put much of our art in the shops around her for sales this winter. As we travel we'll make more art and put them in stores along the way. We are hoping between that and Ebay we should have a good life on the road.

If we volunteer at certain places we can get our rent free or reduced and them used that money we'd normally pay for rent to save for repairs, or what ever is needed.

I know we are going to need another car here soon too. So, we are aware of our needs, and we are planning ahead we hope for those times. Since we both get SS, it makes it so much easier. I wasn't able to entertain much on the road, but I think I will do more perhaps this next road trip. We'll see what happens.

I'd prefer to just travel around and enjoy the rest of my life rather than have to worry about working or such. Just to be able to BE. That is when I'm happiest.

Love to take photographs too, so I'm going  to see about selling some of my photo's at well. Just a distant thought. I have so much on my plate right now it's hard to think of other things, but there is so much I want to do and learn.

After seeing that Paul Mc Cartney turning 71 and Ringo 70 as well as Mick Jagger 70, when to tell you the truth I NEVER dreamt they would live that long. So, that gives me hope, because I KNOW I didn't do as many drugs as they did.....LOL.

Ram Dass ~ Living Life With An Spiritual Open Heart

A very successful and fun day

I got up early and started figuring out what things to get rid of, and things to take to Linda's house later, and what to put in the pile to sell at the collective mobile home sale we are having here next month.

I filled up the car two times with stuff to haul to the dumpsters. It feel so good to get rid of all that stuff. I put down the ez-up and have it packed and ready to go.

Laurie and I are both getting excited about the move, and are really working together to get this mobile home ready to sell.

Tomorrow we are going to have two 5 gallon buckets of white exterior paint shaken by the local hardware store. They said they'd do it for free, so I am hoping they are going to keep their word. I'll let ya know.


TODAYS DECISION FROM THE SUPREME COURT

I'm so proud of our supreme court and their decision to finally give gay people the same rights as anyone else when it come to marriage. This is fantastic. Laurie and I can't marry because if I do I'll loose my benefits from my ex husband. That is so sad for me, but that is how the law is at this time.

I'm just happy for all the others that it will help. Perhaps we can have a commitment ceremony and cover ourselves with other paperwork. I'll look into that as soon as I can.

I'm so excited about getting back on the road. We are going to get our mobile home all painted and fixed up and sell it. If we get what we paid, we'll be thrilled, but we are of course hoping for a bit more as a cush.

We have so enjoyed our time here, but now that it's time to go, I'll miss the place a bit I think. But it's time. You know in your heart, when it's time. I'm just glad we are young enough to go and do this. And that Laurie is still healthy enough. Her pain and suffering from MS has really been getting to her. She rarely says anything but I can tell. She was up late last night with pain. So, we need to get somewhere it's a little bit warmer and no more marine layer and humidity.

I'm getting very tired after the party we just went too. A friends birthday. The food was so good, and the party loud, so we are glad to be home and ready to hit the sack. At least I am. Laurie usually stays up much later than I do, but I'm up early in the morning.

Hope everyone is safe and celebrating responsibly. We have made history today, and I'm so proud to be living in this day and age. We are all blessed on days like today.

Thank you, and goodnight everyone!

Looks like we have to move soon!

Say it isn't so! But it is. Laurie is having a terrible time with the humidity here so we are going to have to start getting things ready to either move, or come up with another plan. So far, moving seems the only way at this time.

In order to have the funds to fix the RV and go to a warmer climate is to sell the mobile home and all we have and start over. We thought this would be the place, but Laurie is in so much pain on the days when it's humid I can't stand to see her suffer. We are lucky she is in remission and she hasn't had really bad flair ups, but they are getting worse, more often, and more painful.

We are hoping we can do all this before October. That is a lot of work to get done by then, but we can't stand to have another winter here. I don't want to see her go into a wheelchair when she is doing so good.

I won't be sorry to leave the area, it's changed so much. I thought I'd live here until my death, but it's so busy now days and I really don't have the connection here I once had. Most of my friends have either moved away or died. Sad but true. People are rude around here now, the gangs have really taken over Santa Maria. We are in a nice area, but for how long?

We are both ready for a new environment. Laurie is doing so good with her Buddhist group that is the hard part. But the more she learns the better. I'm so proud of her and all she's done since I've known her.

Speaking of how long I've known her, July 4th, 2013 will be our 2nd anniversary. I'm so thankful for her and all the blessings she brings to me. I've never met anyone quite like her. She has given me back my faith in human kind. I was giving up hope for sure.

Don't get me wrong, I've had many good people in my life, but I've had so much abuse, that I was and am a very broken person. I have trust issues, as many of us do, but she has managed to nurse me through my anxieties and has eased my pain.

She I believe is the very first person that actually appreciates me. That's huge! My family hasn't appreciated me, so this is so important. I want to do things for her. We are rarely separated. When we are we feel the need to get back to each other. Not in a sick way, but just can't wait to get back together and talk about our experiences, etc.

Since 2009 the lessons I've learned have probably been more than I have in all my years on earth. I'm so happy with the results and the hard work I do daily to improve my life and the life of others. I appreciate more, love more, and from this birthday forward will state my truth, and no longer allow those close to me to abuse or treat me with anything but respect. I have made my boundary's and I'm sticking to them. If that means walking away from those closest to me (Laurie excluded) then so be it.

The older I get the easier it gets to walk away from people that don't fit my life anymore. I've had to start practically over with people around me, but it has turned out to be a nice drama free journey of which I'm enjoying very much.

Since losing my religion I've also noticed a wonderful calmness and peace. I believe in myself and all I'm worth. I will never allow any type of religion in my life again. Going back to my Native roots of thinking, worshipping, and living. I'm so much more happy not to be bullied by some black book or allowing anyone else too either. Sweet.

We are selling on ebay and doing all we can to get the money up to get the RV fixed as soon as possible. So far, we've started off on a good foot. Tomorrow I'm going to put some more things on. This is exciting. I love our life.

It was very humid today. I felt so bad for Laurie. She suffers so when it's this humid. I didn't like it either. We just have to face the fact that we have to move no matter what. We were without electricity last night and I didn't get any sleep because I couldn't use my CPAP machine. I did manage to fall asleep, and I was short on breath the next morning, so I know I was struggling. Over 150 thousand homes were without power. Hope it doesn't happen again soon, that was brutal. I have a kerosene lamp so that helped as well as candles. I also have an extra batter I can use for power. But none of it was enough to power the CPAP. So since we have power now, tonight I should sleep good. We went approx. 18 hours without power. In this day and age, that's rough...ha ha.

Getting tired now, hope to go to bed soon and actually sleep. But before I do hope I don't fall asleep on the movie 'Under the Dome'.

Hope all is well with you and yours. Sleep well and know you are loved, just the way you are. Took me years to believe this one!

Namaste'





This is us at The Oasis Bookstore in Quartzite, AZ. We need to get back there here it's warm for Laurie!

Laurie enjoying the beach in Guadalupe near our home. There are days she can get out and not feel the pain so much, this was one of those days.

Beautiful Day at the Beach in Cayucus!

We didn't get up early to go to the beach.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm so proud of her, she is a trooper

 Pickles was cold, but happy

 The marine layer was coming in

 No fish, darn it

 This little girl was telling me all about fishing. She knew her stuff. She came out with her dad

Children gravitate to me

 This says it all

 perfect day

The recue sub was still here. I wanted a picture of it. The men in the picture were part of the project. Interesting!

 Local fisherman in Avila

Laurie and I living the good life

Sometimes I am amazed how much fun our lives are. We have finally gotten to a place that we trust each other, respect each other and want the best for one another.

Did we argue? Yes, but most of that is just misunderstanding and we've made it through the rough times, the lean times, so we are now enjoying the good times together with all that understanding.

Laurie is pretty even tempered and her feathers aren't ruffled as often as mine seem to be, but with that she is the yen to my yang. Understanding each other is ticket and be willing to learn, and listen. We have and had communication problems, but we are working on that and are getting better. The difference between Laurie and others I've been a partner with, is she is willing to learn, and do the work. Doing the work is the most important thing. I didn't choose to do the work until after Cory's death. That's a shame that it took so long, but I suppose these things happen for a reason and that one shook me to the core. Made me realize who my friends really were and allowed me to see where my life was going. A true Aha moment.

I remember praying for my future partner when I was alone in Nipomo. The year 2009 was one of the worse years of my life. Come to find out it was one of the worse years of Laurie's life as well. We were both being groomed for each other. Both of us are broken people early on in our lives.

Just to have a little bit of history of each of us. Laurie has written a book on her early years of abuse, which included sexual abuse, incense and confinement in the basement of her family home. Mine started before I was even born. My father would beat my Mother to the point of being hospitalized while pregnant with me. It seems my father didn't want competition for my Mothers attention. So, he was trying to get her to abort.

When my father was caught beating me as an infant, my Mother said that was it, and left. It started a 10 journey of hiding, moving to the point she was going to change my name. It's a long and yucky journey for me in some ways. But all in all, I'm still here kickin'.

When Laurie and I got together we both knew about each others past. She one told me 'No matter what you've done, I'll still be here'. How can you resist that?

I've had a wild past, where Laurie has had a sheltered life in many ways, but yet, has walked the mean streets of Jersey as a Police officer. Although I've never been arrested, I can't say I'm an angel by any means. I've told her some of the silly to CRAZY things I've done in my life and she's amazed that not only am I still alive, but that I was 'That wild'.

I'm pretty calm these days. My party days are over, and so are Laurie's. Our parties consist of BBQing, games, swimming, good music and some wine. No one gets drunk, stupid, and I haven't had to throw someone out of my home in a very long time. Life is wonderful.

Now that Laurie and I have our Mojo going on, we are running with it. Everyone around here are getting to know us. Her Buddhist group is the same people when I used to go, so they know me. They also know I'm not into religious groups anymore, but will show up now and then to say hello.

Laurie's art is getting known around here as well as mine. Everyone that comes to our home are amazed that everything we do. We display all our art on our walls, outside, to on shelves. But we are getting ready to start putting them in shops. I already have some going to Oregon right now that will be displayed in Oregon. We figure, that if we can get them in shops and they sell while we are gone traveling, it's a win, win, situation.

We've just really haven't had much time to create new art. But I can say Laurie has been painting like crazy. So, I can't say that about her actually. I've had to slow down a little because I've been entertaining, and trying to set up our kitchen. I've gotten our garden going, set up the aquarium, and so much more. Now that it's slowed down around the house a little, and gotten warmer, I can set up my work bench outside and get some work done. It's hard to do that in the house. Especially if it's this small. So, as I said hopefully next year we will be in Parker, doing our art outside and having  FUN!

I'm off to organize my new tackle box. This is fun and relaxing to me. Then think I'll take Pickles to the dog park. She has a new purple shirt that says 'Angelic'. Everyone gets a good laugh about that because she's so crabby to everyone...lol

Have a great day and don't forget to give away one of your smiles. It doesn't hurt one bit!

Namaste'

Beautiful day at Jamal Beach with Laurie

 These are the poppies that are growing in my garden

 This picture is my favorite

 The neighbors love to visit my garden daily to see the progress

 Not only do I have flowers in my small garden, I am growing our veggies as well.

I took these picture with the new camera Laurie bought me. I love it as you can well tell. I took it out for the first time today while we went to a road trip to Jamala Beach.

I wasn't disappointed either. Everywhere you looked there were beautiful pictures to be taken and shared. I think taking pictures is one of the most fun and interesting things to do for me.

If I had time to really set up the pictures I wanted 'oh my'. Most of my pictures are spontaneous.

It feels good to be able to take pictures like I want again. I have so many interests I want to pursue.

 Here is my work station right now. We are getting ready to paint the actual table and move it to the end of our property to kind of give it more of a patio setting where as I am hoping to discourage others from walking through our patio area. They usually don't but this will make it even more private.

 We have a very small plot of actual dirt. Come to find out the man that was here before us had a turtle that fertilized this area. I wondered why it grew so well. But either way, I have poppies, and lovely veggies growing.

 I have many more tomatoes than I need. I also have two other little plots of veggies around the trailer. So, I'm hoping this year I'll be making fried green tomatoes. I'm going to see if Laurie like them as much as she likes the movie.

 Right now lettus is ready and we are getting ready for the radishes in the next few days. My neighbor Leon decided to not only help with ours, but he is growing his own garden after having fun with ours. I'm so thrilled. He is really getting into it. He's a fun guy.

 Leon our next door neighbor contacted Laurie about painting his flower boxes. She's doing a great job. They look great.

 This is a stump I found and put a succulent into it and it's been growing that way ever since and it's been at least a year. These are the little dish gardens I made and have outside our mobile home. There are people that walk around the park daily that enjoy the new changes I made often to the front of our place.

 This is a piece of wood from Big Sur. Many of these pieces are burnt from the big fire that took place there a few years ago.

 Many of these will be going on sale when I take them to the farmers markets or sell them in other venues.

 These picture doesn't show how wonderful this piece is. I'll have to take another picture that show's it much better. I love this piece and this one is a favorite with many. Another stump I found and put a succulent into it at the top trunk and a barnacle with plants in them at the bottom. Moss and driftwood as well as a special rock finish this piece.

Our humble home.

I love our little mobile home. It's our and it's paid for, and we can do whatever we want to it. We are planning to paint it here soon. We checked the paint we have now, and decided it isn't what we want to paint our place with. So in the next day or so we are going to decided on paint and get it going. I know there are many people in the neighborhood painting and improving everything now that it's Spring.

I love Spring. It's a time of new, fix, paint, plant and get ready for the rest of the year. Flowers blooming, grass to be cut. I used to hate to cute the grass, but loved the smell. I hate the noise of everyone starting up their electric or gas noisy contraptions to fix and such. The week-ends were so noisy in certain neighborhoods. I prefer quiet and living out in the woods.

I try to pretend I don't live in the city. I know our time here is just temporary so that makes it easier to take day in and day out. We both realize we don't want to be here in a few years. Right now we are getting our medical stuff established and get all we need right now.

Now is the time to get all the stuff we have been needing to do done and get all our ducks in a row before we go back on the road full time. We can keep this place and still be on the road. We just aren't sure how to do it yet. We're getting our plan in place. But there are things to do here until we do get out seriously.

Having someone that gets me is such a pleasure. She just goes along with all my silliness. I'm like a kid that likes to explore everything, see everything, talk to everyone and learn as much as I can while my time on earth is here. We are all Spirit being having a human experience and I want to experience all I possibly can.

Of course, money is always a dream stopper. But I (we) have seemed to manage to have the most fun on such little money. NO we can't go to Hawaii at will or anywhere else at will, but there is much to be said about  planning. We have to plan many of our trips. We find corners to cut in our way and still have just as much fun. You have to know how to do it, in my mind.

When I was younger, I did more things with my kids than most people around me who had money. No we couldn't always take them to Disneyland, or Lego Land but my kids hikes many trails from Oregon, Ca, and Wa states. We camped in the woods for a month at a time. All kinds of things like that. When traveling with Circus' we would visit whatever point of interest for that area. My kids had a wonderful learning experience as kids. They got to see what others were only reading about throughout the United States. I know it meant a lot to Cory. He'd talk about his adventures to his wife. Makes me smile that he appreciated the effort. I miss him daily. I also miss the daughter I used to know as Heidi. That person disappeared at age 14 and a very self destructive mean spirited 31 year old women now  dwells. Sad for all who know her.

   This is the last picture of us together. I was told that Heidi only tolerated me during this visit so her children could see me because they love me very much and nagged her to see me knowing I was visiting my 'other' grandchildren.

I imagine this will also be the last picture of us together. Pictures can be deceiving. We look happy. Actually I was happy. I got to see my all my grandchildren, visit Cory's grave, and generally let go of a lot of old resentments and anger. 2010 was an amazing year for me. I beginning of a new life. Letting go of those like Heidi that speak badly of me behind my back and this is what I see (the picture) when I visit. Blew Tamara's mind. It was the first time she'd seen Heidi rant, rave, and cuss about me visiting the night before, to have me drive up and have Heidi come up and give me a big hug. I've dealt with her all her life, this is nothing new to me. I used to take what little crumbs Heidi would throw me and do what needed to be done to see my grandchildren. But not anymore. I've take my last from her and those like her, and let the cards fall where they lay.

I have a sense of peace I've not had when she was in my life. Her life is so full of drama, lies, and crazy I don't want to even get close to her due to her Karma. I've tried to talk to her, and she knows better, it will take something profound for her to get a grip apparently, or she may choose to never grow. I wish her the best in her life and hope that someday she will find her joy and happiness, When people start taking responsibility for their lives, then and only then will you begin to have an awakening in your life. You have to do the work, painful as it may seem. It's more painful to continue to hurt yourself and those around you.

I try to now think of all the fun times I had with Heidi and Cory when they were young. It was fun having them and playing with them. My only regret was allowing  them too much contact with their 'other' family members. It's that contact that killed my son. So the only regret I think I may have with my life was going back with Rick when I did. I wish I'd raised them alone without influence of his family. They both got caught up in their lifestyles and it started their spiral downhill of drinking, drugs, and devil may care attitude. Cory ended up leaving his wife and drinking and partying with his dad. I watched this happen and their wasn't anything I could do by this time. I don't want to get into all that, but all in all, if I had it to do over again. I'd have raised them far far away from them, their influence and lifestyle of which continues to this day. But things happen as they should, so I have to accept that, and know I did my very best regardless of what others may think.

In fact, I have to admit, I'm caring less and less what others think! Dirty looks, a snide remark, being nasty and such as I see them usually on a daily basis. Not always aimed at me, but just see it in general as I get out in the world. But now, I just smile and say a little prayer for that person, hoping their life will improve so they can feel better about themselves.

I feel so connected to my Source. My God, I no longer care what others think of me, how they look at me, anything. It's their problem, not mine should they have a problem.  If not, right on!

I've let what others think of me occupy too much of my time. I'm so done with that kind of thinking. Done, put a fork in it DONE! I wear my overalls, and don't really care who does or doesn't like it. They are comfortable for me. I can't wear bra's anymore, or anything that binds due to my health, so instead of wear overalls, that pretty much takes away the lumps. Not wearing bra when you are as large up top as I am, is hard in society. I have a friend that is twice as large as me and she never wears undergarments and she sways here and there. She gets a lot of dirty looks. People don't want to be her friend because they make assumptions. We could go on and on about assumptions, but you get the idea.

In fact, I did a little experiment with just this one thing. I wore my overalls to this place of business and wasn't treated that well. One month later, I wore a nice outfit, donned with jewelry, etc, and was treated like a queen. Same people, same everything other than I was nicely dressed. A world of difference. My Mother told me this early in life and I resented it, and would dress down just to rebel. I think I've done that a lot to rebel. I still have a little of that rebellion in me. Or go against the flow. Follow a road less traveled.

Love this picture of Laurie. She is so amazed at our beaches here in the West Coast. She says the Jersey Shore is nothing like this. I told her we work very hard to keep it this way. There are those that would love to take our shores and make millions putting up Hotels, eateries, you name it. But hopefully as long as I'm alive the West Coast will always be this beautiful.

It is changing for sure. More people every year are moving here changing the Mojo daily. It was so fabulous here in the 70's. So free and natural. Less people more beach, less rules. Now, it's hard to pay money to park to go to the beach. In fact, I haven't been to Pismo in a very long time due to having to pay. But I've been told lately that if you have handicapped licenses, it's free. I'll have to call to see if that is true, if so, here I come!

We should go bowl there Laurie and I. She'd love it. There are so many wonderful fun that can be had here. Wish I had more time on earth to enjoy all the fun. But either way, it's as it should be.

I'm certainly enjoying my senior years more than I ever dreamed. I thought it would be terrible being old, and losing my looks, my health, friends, and family. Yes, some of this stuff is hard, but all in all, I'm so happy to let go with many early beliefs, for newer ones that actually work for ME. Not the teachings of those that came before. I don't say forget all traditions and learning, but use what actually works for you, not what worked for your father or mother, or uncle, but doesn't work for you. This is your time not theirs. Their time is over or in the works for them. I've learned this one.

When I learn lessons in life that will help with my happiness, I'm thrilled and always wonder what took me so long...lol. That's just me.

I know my hearts been opened as never before since 2009. Now, it's coming fast and furious. The revelations, and messages that come to me either in dreams, whether by lesson learned, however it comes, it's welcome and helps with my journey. Change the way you think, change your life. It works. I'm in contact with the Divine and my life has taken a difference path, and it feels not only right, but I'm excited to wake up daily to see how wonderful it will be.

Namaste'