Beautiful day at Jamal Beach with Laurie

 These are the poppies that are growing in my garden

 This picture is my favorite

 The neighbors love to visit my garden daily to see the progress

 Not only do I have flowers in my small garden, I am growing our veggies as well.

I took these picture with the new camera Laurie bought me. I love it as you can well tell. I took it out for the first time today while we went to a road trip to Jamala Beach.

I wasn't disappointed either. Everywhere you looked there were beautiful pictures to be taken and shared. I think taking pictures is one of the most fun and interesting things to do for me.

If I had time to really set up the pictures I wanted 'oh my'. Most of my pictures are spontaneous.

It feels good to be able to take pictures like I want again. I have so many interests I want to pursue.

 Here is my work station right now. We are getting ready to paint the actual table and move it to the end of our property to kind of give it more of a patio setting where as I am hoping to discourage others from walking through our patio area. They usually don't but this will make it even more private.

 We have a very small plot of actual dirt. Come to find out the man that was here before us had a turtle that fertilized this area. I wondered why it grew so well. But either way, I have poppies, and lovely veggies growing.

 I have many more tomatoes than I need. I also have two other little plots of veggies around the trailer. So, I'm hoping this year I'll be making fried green tomatoes. I'm going to see if Laurie like them as much as she likes the movie.

 Right now lettus is ready and we are getting ready for the radishes in the next few days. My neighbor Leon decided to not only help with ours, but he is growing his own garden after having fun with ours. I'm so thrilled. He is really getting into it. He's a fun guy.

 Leon our next door neighbor contacted Laurie about painting his flower boxes. She's doing a great job. They look great.

 This is a stump I found and put a succulent into it and it's been growing that way ever since and it's been at least a year. These are the little dish gardens I made and have outside our mobile home. There are people that walk around the park daily that enjoy the new changes I made often to the front of our place.

 This is a piece of wood from Big Sur. Many of these pieces are burnt from the big fire that took place there a few years ago.

 Many of these will be going on sale when I take them to the farmers markets or sell them in other venues.

 These picture doesn't show how wonderful this piece is. I'll have to take another picture that show's it much better. I love this piece and this one is a favorite with many. Another stump I found and put a succulent into it at the top trunk and a barnacle with plants in them at the bottom. Moss and driftwood as well as a special rock finish this piece.

Our humble home.

I love our little mobile home. It's our and it's paid for, and we can do whatever we want to it. We are planning to paint it here soon. We checked the paint we have now, and decided it isn't what we want to paint our place with. So in the next day or so we are going to decided on paint and get it going. I know there are many people in the neighborhood painting and improving everything now that it's Spring.

I love Spring. It's a time of new, fix, paint, plant and get ready for the rest of the year. Flowers blooming, grass to be cut. I used to hate to cute the grass, but loved the smell. I hate the noise of everyone starting up their electric or gas noisy contraptions to fix and such. The week-ends were so noisy in certain neighborhoods. I prefer quiet and living out in the woods.

I try to pretend I don't live in the city. I know our time here is just temporary so that makes it easier to take day in and day out. We both realize we don't want to be here in a few years. Right now we are getting our medical stuff established and get all we need right now.

Now is the time to get all the stuff we have been needing to do done and get all our ducks in a row before we go back on the road full time. We can keep this place and still be on the road. We just aren't sure how to do it yet. We're getting our plan in place. But there are things to do here until we do get out seriously.

Having someone that gets me is such a pleasure. She just goes along with all my silliness. I'm like a kid that likes to explore everything, see everything, talk to everyone and learn as much as I can while my time on earth is here. We are all Spirit being having a human experience and I want to experience all I possibly can.

Of course, money is always a dream stopper. But I (we) have seemed to manage to have the most fun on such little money. NO we can't go to Hawaii at will or anywhere else at will, but there is much to be said about  planning. We have to plan many of our trips. We find corners to cut in our way and still have just as much fun. You have to know how to do it, in my mind.

When I was younger, I did more things with my kids than most people around me who had money. No we couldn't always take them to Disneyland, or Lego Land but my kids hikes many trails from Oregon, Ca, and Wa states. We camped in the woods for a month at a time. All kinds of things like that. When traveling with Circus' we would visit whatever point of interest for that area. My kids had a wonderful learning experience as kids. They got to see what others were only reading about throughout the United States. I know it meant a lot to Cory. He'd talk about his adventures to his wife. Makes me smile that he appreciated the effort. I miss him daily. I also miss the daughter I used to know as Heidi. That person disappeared at age 14 and a very self destructive mean spirited 31 year old women now  dwells. Sad for all who know her.

   This is the last picture of us together. I was told that Heidi only tolerated me during this visit so her children could see me because they love me very much and nagged her to see me knowing I was visiting my 'other' grandchildren.

I imagine this will also be the last picture of us together. Pictures can be deceiving. We look happy. Actually I was happy. I got to see my all my grandchildren, visit Cory's grave, and generally let go of a lot of old resentments and anger. 2010 was an amazing year for me. I beginning of a new life. Letting go of those like Heidi that speak badly of me behind my back and this is what I see (the picture) when I visit. Blew Tamara's mind. It was the first time she'd seen Heidi rant, rave, and cuss about me visiting the night before, to have me drive up and have Heidi come up and give me a big hug. I've dealt with her all her life, this is nothing new to me. I used to take what little crumbs Heidi would throw me and do what needed to be done to see my grandchildren. But not anymore. I've take my last from her and those like her, and let the cards fall where they lay.

I have a sense of peace I've not had when she was in my life. Her life is so full of drama, lies, and crazy I don't want to even get close to her due to her Karma. I've tried to talk to her, and she knows better, it will take something profound for her to get a grip apparently, or she may choose to never grow. I wish her the best in her life and hope that someday she will find her joy and happiness, When people start taking responsibility for their lives, then and only then will you begin to have an awakening in your life. You have to do the work, painful as it may seem. It's more painful to continue to hurt yourself and those around you.

I try to now think of all the fun times I had with Heidi and Cory when they were young. It was fun having them and playing with them. My only regret was allowing  them too much contact with their 'other' family members. It's that contact that killed my son. So the only regret I think I may have with my life was going back with Rick when I did. I wish I'd raised them alone without influence of his family. They both got caught up in their lifestyles and it started their spiral downhill of drinking, drugs, and devil may care attitude. Cory ended up leaving his wife and drinking and partying with his dad. I watched this happen and their wasn't anything I could do by this time. I don't want to get into all that, but all in all, if I had it to do over again. I'd have raised them far far away from them, their influence and lifestyle of which continues to this day. But things happen as they should, so I have to accept that, and know I did my very best regardless of what others may think.

In fact, I have to admit, I'm caring less and less what others think! Dirty looks, a snide remark, being nasty and such as I see them usually on a daily basis. Not always aimed at me, but just see it in general as I get out in the world. But now, I just smile and say a little prayer for that person, hoping their life will improve so they can feel better about themselves.

I feel so connected to my Source. My God, I no longer care what others think of me, how they look at me, anything. It's their problem, not mine should they have a problem.  If not, right on!

I've let what others think of me occupy too much of my time. I'm so done with that kind of thinking. Done, put a fork in it DONE! I wear my overalls, and don't really care who does or doesn't like it. They are comfortable for me. I can't wear bra's anymore, or anything that binds due to my health, so instead of wear overalls, that pretty much takes away the lumps. Not wearing bra when you are as large up top as I am, is hard in society. I have a friend that is twice as large as me and she never wears undergarments and she sways here and there. She gets a lot of dirty looks. People don't want to be her friend because they make assumptions. We could go on and on about assumptions, but you get the idea.

In fact, I did a little experiment with just this one thing. I wore my overalls to this place of business and wasn't treated that well. One month later, I wore a nice outfit, donned with jewelry, etc, and was treated like a queen. Same people, same everything other than I was nicely dressed. A world of difference. My Mother told me this early in life and I resented it, and would dress down just to rebel. I think I've done that a lot to rebel. I still have a little of that rebellion in me. Or go against the flow. Follow a road less traveled.

Love this picture of Laurie. She is so amazed at our beaches here in the West Coast. She says the Jersey Shore is nothing like this. I told her we work very hard to keep it this way. There are those that would love to take our shores and make millions putting up Hotels, eateries, you name it. But hopefully as long as I'm alive the West Coast will always be this beautiful.

It is changing for sure. More people every year are moving here changing the Mojo daily. It was so fabulous here in the 70's. So free and natural. Less people more beach, less rules. Now, it's hard to pay money to park to go to the beach. In fact, I haven't been to Pismo in a very long time due to having to pay. But I've been told lately that if you have handicapped licenses, it's free. I'll have to call to see if that is true, if so, here I come!

We should go bowl there Laurie and I. She'd love it. There are so many wonderful fun that can be had here. Wish I had more time on earth to enjoy all the fun. But either way, it's as it should be.

I'm certainly enjoying my senior years more than I ever dreamed. I thought it would be terrible being old, and losing my looks, my health, friends, and family. Yes, some of this stuff is hard, but all in all, I'm so happy to let go with many early beliefs, for newer ones that actually work for ME. Not the teachings of those that came before. I don't say forget all traditions and learning, but use what actually works for you, not what worked for your father or mother, or uncle, but doesn't work for you. This is your time not theirs. Their time is over or in the works for them. I've learned this one.

When I learn lessons in life that will help with my happiness, I'm thrilled and always wonder what took me so long...lol. That's just me.

I know my hearts been opened as never before since 2009. Now, it's coming fast and furious. The revelations, and messages that come to me either in dreams, whether by lesson learned, however it comes, it's welcome and helps with my journey. Change the way you think, change your life. It works. I'm in contact with the Divine and my life has taken a difference path, and it feels not only right, but I'm excited to wake up daily to see how wonderful it will be.

Namaste'