Ram Dass ~ Living Life With An Spiritual Open Heart

A very successful and fun day

I got up early and started figuring out what things to get rid of, and things to take to Linda's house later, and what to put in the pile to sell at the collective mobile home sale we are having here next month.

I filled up the car two times with stuff to haul to the dumpsters. It feel so good to get rid of all that stuff. I put down the ez-up and have it packed and ready to go.

Laurie and I are both getting excited about the move, and are really working together to get this mobile home ready to sell.

Tomorrow we are going to have two 5 gallon buckets of white exterior paint shaken by the local hardware store. They said they'd do it for free, so I am hoping they are going to keep their word. I'll let ya know.


TODAYS DECISION FROM THE SUPREME COURT

I'm so proud of our supreme court and their decision to finally give gay people the same rights as anyone else when it come to marriage. This is fantastic. Laurie and I can't marry because if I do I'll loose my benefits from my ex husband. That is so sad for me, but that is how the law is at this time.

I'm just happy for all the others that it will help. Perhaps we can have a commitment ceremony and cover ourselves with other paperwork. I'll look into that as soon as I can.

I'm so excited about getting back on the road. We are going to get our mobile home all painted and fixed up and sell it. If we get what we paid, we'll be thrilled, but we are of course hoping for a bit more as a cush.

We have so enjoyed our time here, but now that it's time to go, I'll miss the place a bit I think. But it's time. You know in your heart, when it's time. I'm just glad we are young enough to go and do this. And that Laurie is still healthy enough. Her pain and suffering from MS has really been getting to her. She rarely says anything but I can tell. She was up late last night with pain. So, we need to get somewhere it's a little bit warmer and no more marine layer and humidity.

I'm getting very tired after the party we just went too. A friends birthday. The food was so good, and the party loud, so we are glad to be home and ready to hit the sack. At least I am. Laurie usually stays up much later than I do, but I'm up early in the morning.

Hope everyone is safe and celebrating responsibly. We have made history today, and I'm so proud to be living in this day and age. We are all blessed on days like today.

Thank you, and goodnight everyone!

Looks like we have to move soon!

Say it isn't so! But it is. Laurie is having a terrible time with the humidity here so we are going to have to start getting things ready to either move, or come up with another plan. So far, moving seems the only way at this time.

In order to have the funds to fix the RV and go to a warmer climate is to sell the mobile home and all we have and start over. We thought this would be the place, but Laurie is in so much pain on the days when it's humid I can't stand to see her suffer. We are lucky she is in remission and she hasn't had really bad flair ups, but they are getting worse, more often, and more painful.

We are hoping we can do all this before October. That is a lot of work to get done by then, but we can't stand to have another winter here. I don't want to see her go into a wheelchair when she is doing so good.

I won't be sorry to leave the area, it's changed so much. I thought I'd live here until my death, but it's so busy now days and I really don't have the connection here I once had. Most of my friends have either moved away or died. Sad but true. People are rude around here now, the gangs have really taken over Santa Maria. We are in a nice area, but for how long?

We are both ready for a new environment. Laurie is doing so good with her Buddhist group that is the hard part. But the more she learns the better. I'm so proud of her and all she's done since I've known her.

Speaking of how long I've known her, July 4th, 2013 will be our 2nd anniversary. I'm so thankful for her and all the blessings she brings to me. I've never met anyone quite like her. She has given me back my faith in human kind. I was giving up hope for sure.

Don't get me wrong, I've had many good people in my life, but I've had so much abuse, that I was and am a very broken person. I have trust issues, as many of us do, but she has managed to nurse me through my anxieties and has eased my pain.

She I believe is the very first person that actually appreciates me. That's huge! My family hasn't appreciated me, so this is so important. I want to do things for her. We are rarely separated. When we are we feel the need to get back to each other. Not in a sick way, but just can't wait to get back together and talk about our experiences, etc.

Since 2009 the lessons I've learned have probably been more than I have in all my years on earth. I'm so happy with the results and the hard work I do daily to improve my life and the life of others. I appreciate more, love more, and from this birthday forward will state my truth, and no longer allow those close to me to abuse or treat me with anything but respect. I have made my boundary's and I'm sticking to them. If that means walking away from those closest to me (Laurie excluded) then so be it.

The older I get the easier it gets to walk away from people that don't fit my life anymore. I've had to start practically over with people around me, but it has turned out to be a nice drama free journey of which I'm enjoying very much.

Since losing my religion I've also noticed a wonderful calmness and peace. I believe in myself and all I'm worth. I will never allow any type of religion in my life again. Going back to my Native roots of thinking, worshipping, and living. I'm so much more happy not to be bullied by some black book or allowing anyone else too either. Sweet.

We are selling on ebay and doing all we can to get the money up to get the RV fixed as soon as possible. So far, we've started off on a good foot. Tomorrow I'm going to put some more things on. This is exciting. I love our life.

It was very humid today. I felt so bad for Laurie. She suffers so when it's this humid. I didn't like it either. We just have to face the fact that we have to move no matter what. We were without electricity last night and I didn't get any sleep because I couldn't use my CPAP machine. I did manage to fall asleep, and I was short on breath the next morning, so I know I was struggling. Over 150 thousand homes were without power. Hope it doesn't happen again soon, that was brutal. I have a kerosene lamp so that helped as well as candles. I also have an extra batter I can use for power. But none of it was enough to power the CPAP. So since we have power now, tonight I should sleep good. We went approx. 18 hours without power. In this day and age, that's rough...ha ha.

Getting tired now, hope to go to bed soon and actually sleep. But before I do hope I don't fall asleep on the movie 'Under the Dome'.

Hope all is well with you and yours. Sleep well and know you are loved, just the way you are. Took me years to believe this one!

Namaste'





This is us at The Oasis Bookstore in Quartzite, AZ. We need to get back there here it's warm for Laurie!

Laurie enjoying the beach in Guadalupe near our home. There are days she can get out and not feel the pain so much, this was one of those days.

Beautiful Day at the Beach in Cayucus!

We didn't get up early to go to the beach.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm so proud of her, she is a trooper

 Pickles was cold, but happy

 The marine layer was coming in

 No fish, darn it

 This little girl was telling me all about fishing. She knew her stuff. She came out with her dad

Children gravitate to me

 This says it all

 perfect day

The recue sub was still here. I wanted a picture of it. The men in the picture were part of the project. Interesting!

 Local fisherman in Avila

Laurie and I living the good life

Sometimes I am amazed how much fun our lives are. We have finally gotten to a place that we trust each other, respect each other and want the best for one another.

Did we argue? Yes, but most of that is just misunderstanding and we've made it through the rough times, the lean times, so we are now enjoying the good times together with all that understanding.

Laurie is pretty even tempered and her feathers aren't ruffled as often as mine seem to be, but with that she is the yen to my yang. Understanding each other is ticket and be willing to learn, and listen. We have and had communication problems, but we are working on that and are getting better. The difference between Laurie and others I've been a partner with, is she is willing to learn, and do the work. Doing the work is the most important thing. I didn't choose to do the work until after Cory's death. That's a shame that it took so long, but I suppose these things happen for a reason and that one shook me to the core. Made me realize who my friends really were and allowed me to see where my life was going. A true Aha moment.

I remember praying for my future partner when I was alone in Nipomo. The year 2009 was one of the worse years of my life. Come to find out it was one of the worse years of Laurie's life as well. We were both being groomed for each other. Both of us are broken people early on in our lives.

Just to have a little bit of history of each of us. Laurie has written a book on her early years of abuse, which included sexual abuse, incense and confinement in the basement of her family home. Mine started before I was even born. My father would beat my Mother to the point of being hospitalized while pregnant with me. It seems my father didn't want competition for my Mothers attention. So, he was trying to get her to abort.

When my father was caught beating me as an infant, my Mother said that was it, and left. It started a 10 journey of hiding, moving to the point she was going to change my name. It's a long and yucky journey for me in some ways. But all in all, I'm still here kickin'.

When Laurie and I got together we both knew about each others past. She one told me 'No matter what you've done, I'll still be here'. How can you resist that?

I've had a wild past, where Laurie has had a sheltered life in many ways, but yet, has walked the mean streets of Jersey as a Police officer. Although I've never been arrested, I can't say I'm an angel by any means. I've told her some of the silly to CRAZY things I've done in my life and she's amazed that not only am I still alive, but that I was 'That wild'.

I'm pretty calm these days. My party days are over, and so are Laurie's. Our parties consist of BBQing, games, swimming, good music and some wine. No one gets drunk, stupid, and I haven't had to throw someone out of my home in a very long time. Life is wonderful.

Now that Laurie and I have our Mojo going on, we are running with it. Everyone around here are getting to know us. Her Buddhist group is the same people when I used to go, so they know me. They also know I'm not into religious groups anymore, but will show up now and then to say hello.

Laurie's art is getting known around here as well as mine. Everyone that comes to our home are amazed that everything we do. We display all our art on our walls, outside, to on shelves. But we are getting ready to start putting them in shops. I already have some going to Oregon right now that will be displayed in Oregon. We figure, that if we can get them in shops and they sell while we are gone traveling, it's a win, win, situation.

We've just really haven't had much time to create new art. But I can say Laurie has been painting like crazy. So, I can't say that about her actually. I've had to slow down a little because I've been entertaining, and trying to set up our kitchen. I've gotten our garden going, set up the aquarium, and so much more. Now that it's slowed down around the house a little, and gotten warmer, I can set up my work bench outside and get some work done. It's hard to do that in the house. Especially if it's this small. So, as I said hopefully next year we will be in Parker, doing our art outside and having  FUN!

I'm off to organize my new tackle box. This is fun and relaxing to me. Then think I'll take Pickles to the dog park. She has a new purple shirt that says 'Angelic'. Everyone gets a good laugh about that because she's so crabby to everyone...lol

Have a great day and don't forget to give away one of your smiles. It doesn't hurt one bit!

Namaste'