Oh my goodness, watching the news in these times is so hard to do. Now we have another school shooting and it's unfolding as we speak. As far as this writing there are 20 children gunned down and 8 adults I believe. I'm dumbfounded. I don't even know what to think anymore.
It is things like this that bring out the crazies! People wanting to blame the democrats, and the democrats blame the republicans, who want to blame the lobbyists who want to blame, well, you get the picture. As for myself, I blame the one picking up the gun in the first place.
I've finally had to un-friend some people on my Facebook page. I guess I'm getting less tolerant of the Christian people.
We are both Artists, Writers, and Photographers enjoying the life of the road in our motorhome and dog Pickles. Come join our adventures and fun.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Friday, December 14, 2012
When Friends come to visit
Girlfriend time
My friend Tree is here. I was visiting a friend of mine when I got the call that another friend of mine is there in Santa Maria with Laurie. Fun! I was having a girlfriend time is what I call it when I go stay with a friend and we eat popcorn and watch TV in our jammies, and just have a great time as you did when you were girl friends in your teens or kids. Lots of adults forget how to play or get too involved in life and forget to just play.
Dory is so sweet. She'll have me over when I feel overwhelmed with life in general to offer me a time of not having to worry about much of anything. I go to work with her, and just enjoy my time alone. I have my own room. I can watch TV, eat up there, enjoy a wink and nudge. She cooks for me and has coffee for me in the morning. It's nice to be able to enjoy an early morning cup of coffee with a friend. Laurie and I enjoy different times of day. Laurie is a night owl and I'm an early bird. Laurie doesn't drink coffee either, so times like this are important to me.
I got to walk all around Santa Margarita and found there is an auction house there I used to go too many years ago. In fact, I found a gal there I had sort of a crush on only to find out she wasn't gay, so that didn't go very far. It could have, but I wasn't into recruiting. She actually called me a few more times, but I decided it wasn't something I wanted to get involved in at the time. Good choice.
I told Dory my friend Tree was here, and she understood. So to put a plan in play to go to the movies and see "Lincoln". What a great movie. A time in history that needs to be remembered among many. From there we went to Chinese food and it was FANTASTIC as usual. We went to China Gourmet on Grand and 4th in Oceano. It's got the best sweet and sour soup ever! I love the place and we go there whenever possible. If we lived closer I know it would take a toll on our budget.
We have so many wonderful memories with great friends. I feel bad for those that don't have anyone to enjoy life with. I've had pretty much the same friends for many years. The only reason you are out of my life is due to your behavior against me or the like. I'm not perfect, nor are my friends, but we accept each other as we are with whatever quirks go along with that. There are times that we have to take breaks from each other, but basically we know we aren't mean spirited toward each other. We want to see each other succeed and have a happy life. No mean girls here. They have been weeded out. I once saw someone that was close to me enjoy my moment of pain and realized right then and there, not everyone in my life should be.
In this life, we learn who to trust and who to run from. Another great lesson to learn is to not let what others think even ruin one moment of your life. I don't anymore.
I was born a people pleaser. Sometimes it comes forward, but I catch myself and correct it as soon as possible. I don't need to take any abuse from anyone, and don't want anyone in my life that would treat me that way.
I love my friends and misfits as some call them. I have a collection of wonderfully inventive and artistic people on earth. At least my little plot of the earth. Loving and accepting of myself and others like me. When I hear from others why they have me in their life, I'm amazed and think they are talking about someone else. It's hard to accept that we are actually wonderful and people love us for who we are authentically. Gee, if that doesn't humble you I don't know what else will. It's what we all look for in others. To accept us, and love us regardless or because of who we are. Nice.
DEVON CALLED AND THANKED ME
I got the call from Devon the other day that made me cry. He called to tell me
he thinks of me, and he wanted to thank me for all I did for him, and that he realizes how much I did for him while he lived here. He also realizes that I truly care about him and want to see him succeed. I wish of course that he would be the one that would raise my grandchildren with Tamara, but I could see that it wasn't going to happen. I was so sad to see he and Tamara break up but it had to happen I suppose. It is what it is. I had to learn to accept it and stay good with them both.
He said he was done with Tamara and was going to just concentrate on his life and getting a car, a place to live and move forward with a new sense of freedom.
He said he was so thankful for his job and Steve teaching him a trade he can use anywhere he goes. He and Steve are buddies and that is what he needed. Someone that could take him under his wing and teach me a thing or two about life. Steven is the one. They are a lot a like. So this is so nice.
He also said he'd get the part and fix the car! Sweet! He said that was the least he could do for all the times I'd get up and take him to work and then come pick him up. Take them to the store, and laundry etc. We did use the car a lot. So, this is a big burden off my shoulders. I am blessed.
Laurie is so sweet during all of this. I think being with me has opened her eyes to so much! First of all to all the people I know from all different backgrounds. But also, that they are such heartfelt wonderfully authentic people, who have made their mistakes, and have learned, to be able to teach others and help others on their journeys.
Tauria and Rusty are wonderful people who have helped so many in their journey with me alone. If that makes sense. I have asked them to tell their story to many of those in my life in order to give understanding that people have such wonderful stories that start out going down one road and ending up going down an entirely new road and it turning out to be the BEST road after all.
Devon calling came full circle with me and even my own son. Devon being one of Cory's best friends, I see a lot of the same traits in him that Cory once had. I am doing what would make Cory so proud and that is what he was trying to convey to others and that is, I accept people as they are and do my best to understand, and when I feel I'm wrong, I'll say so, and move on. I want to understand. I keep my heart open as best I can. I miss my son greatly as he had an open heart too, and at times he couldn't handle it and did what he thought he had to do in order to survive. He saw what I did to survive and though it was the way to cope. Sad. wish I'd been there more for him.
Devon's parents aren't able to be there for him, but he said I am, and that works for him. I'm so thrilled to be in his life and have a positive role. Nice. I'm proud.
People have come and gone in my life just at the right time. I'm sure many of you have found this in your life as well. Interesting I think. And somehow in my life some have stayed way longer than I had wished. But it's all in the pudding now I suppose. But either way my life has been enriched.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Wonderful Rain
Today has been a lazy day and a great day as well. It's been raining on and off all day. I have been incredibly lazy.
Yesterday was a very busy day. I had two parties. One in Paso Robles at the Children's Museum. I had a blast. It's a great museum and wish I could have taken my Grand kids while they where here. Oh well, I did the best I could while the where here taking them wherever I could think of that didn't cost an arm and a leg.
I am glad they are home and doing great. Tamara has contacted me on Facebook and kept me up to date as to what is going on in her life. She has some challenges coming up in the next few days. Hope it all comes out alright. She is definitely in my prayers. Sometimes we make mistakes that we regret for life. I am hoping this won't be one for her. It's hard being in this world. So many things are pulling you here and there, and if you don't have a good support system and good education you can fall victim to all kinds of trouble. Which was her case.
Super Soul Sunday was wonderful this morning. I look forward to Sundays just for that reason. I have Laurie hooked on to them too now. She went to her Buddhist meeting and then came home and watched it. I'm glad she is connecting to the Buddhist group here. They have been looking for new blood to make leaders and have someone else do things besides the same people. I understand that. So, Laurie is going to leadership meetings and things are coming together for her.
I know she wishes I'd go with her, but I have a big problem with chanting in another language I don't understand and have a hard time pronouncing let alone understanding. To chant to a piece of paper on the wall, all the rituals that go along with it all. It just doesn't ring true to me and makes me uncomfortable, so I no longer attend. Wish I could do it, and go along, but I've not been able to do that all my life. I've tried religions of all sorts and none of them complete what I need.
The only way I've found to be comfortable for me is 'Native' type worship. I don't believe on getting on your knees and praying with bowed head. I believe in holding your head high and opening your arms and speaking. Native way seems more authentic than anything I've tried. I pray outside because it's my temple. I don't need millions to maintain it's just natural. Church is just too uncomfortable for me. It's too conforming. Too much like sheep following sheep. I've struggled with religions all my life. I've decided to stop and not be part, but to do what feel natural to me. I don't mind visiting and learning what all people believe and how it works for them, but I get offended when they tell me my way is wrong and I must do it their way in order to find GOD.
I feel my relationship with The Great Spirit is full circle. I now take the time to listen. The animals teach me, and I know I'm never alone. Even as a child when I was by myself so much, I knew I was not alone. I had animals to play with in the wild. Somewhere somehow I found an animal. They have been my friends since the beginning. Thus, the reason Pickles is so important to me. Sometimes animals understand when people cannot.
I'm really working on trying to accept everyone's belief system no matter how bizarre. If it works for them and doesn't cause harm, I don't see a problem with it. I want to learn. But when it comes to the Bible, I have a big problem. Since so much of my life people have used it to be mean spirited and judgmental. I know there are many wonderful stories in the Bible. But I believe them to be stories. Stories meant to teach not literal and meant to be taken as such. But that is just my opinion.
What I do know is that I'm incredibly blessed and the more I know the more I feel comfortable in my skin. Those around me are the cream of the crop as far as I'm concerned and I'm so grateful for everything.
Being grateful for your life and everything in it, has been my saving grace. When I bought my grateful journal many years ago in San Francisco, I find that it changed the way I thought of my life. I would and still do write in it daily. It helps me realize all the wonderful things and people I have in my life. I may not have brand new this or that, but I have everything I have ever wanted pretty much.
I'd love to be able to travel more. If I'm patient I know it will happen. As Laurie get's more and more roots here, I got worried, but we talked about this, and it's ok for me to travel alone. I sometimes prefer it. Laurie and I have different ideas about travel. I like to boondock, and Laurie likes having all the amenities. So, it's good to get away from each other at times and just do what you want. No problem.
I would like to get Solar put on the roof. I thought about getting Devon to help with this should I be able to buy this any time soon. I want to be able to travel with the least amount of having to be connected. I'd love it. To save all that money. I like to cook solar and have many times while on the road.
The more Youtube video's I watch the more excited I get about doing this or that. Youtube is one of the most wonderful things on the net. People post just about everything you can think about. I've been using it to learn new balloon animals.
I've thought about just going on the road and just entertain in every town. I know I want to go to all the Senior homes like I did while on the road with the Circus. I really want to give back and devote my life from now on to others. To be in service to others is such a wonderful feeling and it's a gift that keeps on giving.
I've had people recently tell me the impact I had on their lives. I never knew. How wonderful. Now, I just want to do more.
Namaste'
Yesterday was a very busy day. I had two parties. One in Paso Robles at the Children's Museum. I had a blast. It's a great museum and wish I could have taken my Grand kids while they where here. Oh well, I did the best I could while the where here taking them wherever I could think of that didn't cost an arm and a leg.
I am glad they are home and doing great. Tamara has contacted me on Facebook and kept me up to date as to what is going on in her life. She has some challenges coming up in the next few days. Hope it all comes out alright. She is definitely in my prayers. Sometimes we make mistakes that we regret for life. I am hoping this won't be one for her. It's hard being in this world. So many things are pulling you here and there, and if you don't have a good support system and good education you can fall victim to all kinds of trouble. Which was her case.
Super Soul Sunday was wonderful this morning. I look forward to Sundays just for that reason. I have Laurie hooked on to them too now. She went to her Buddhist meeting and then came home and watched it. I'm glad she is connecting to the Buddhist group here. They have been looking for new blood to make leaders and have someone else do things besides the same people. I understand that. So, Laurie is going to leadership meetings and things are coming together for her.
I know she wishes I'd go with her, but I have a big problem with chanting in another language I don't understand and have a hard time pronouncing let alone understanding. To chant to a piece of paper on the wall, all the rituals that go along with it all. It just doesn't ring true to me and makes me uncomfortable, so I no longer attend. Wish I could do it, and go along, but I've not been able to do that all my life. I've tried religions of all sorts and none of them complete what I need.
The only way I've found to be comfortable for me is 'Native' type worship. I don't believe on getting on your knees and praying with bowed head. I believe in holding your head high and opening your arms and speaking. Native way seems more authentic than anything I've tried. I pray outside because it's my temple. I don't need millions to maintain it's just natural. Church is just too uncomfortable for me. It's too conforming. Too much like sheep following sheep. I've struggled with religions all my life. I've decided to stop and not be part, but to do what feel natural to me. I don't mind visiting and learning what all people believe and how it works for them, but I get offended when they tell me my way is wrong and I must do it their way in order to find GOD.
I feel my relationship with The Great Spirit is full circle. I now take the time to listen. The animals teach me, and I know I'm never alone. Even as a child when I was by myself so much, I knew I was not alone. I had animals to play with in the wild. Somewhere somehow I found an animal. They have been my friends since the beginning. Thus, the reason Pickles is so important to me. Sometimes animals understand when people cannot.
I'm really working on trying to accept everyone's belief system no matter how bizarre. If it works for them and doesn't cause harm, I don't see a problem with it. I want to learn. But when it comes to the Bible, I have a big problem. Since so much of my life people have used it to be mean spirited and judgmental. I know there are many wonderful stories in the Bible. But I believe them to be stories. Stories meant to teach not literal and meant to be taken as such. But that is just my opinion.
What I do know is that I'm incredibly blessed and the more I know the more I feel comfortable in my skin. Those around me are the cream of the crop as far as I'm concerned and I'm so grateful for everything.
Being grateful for your life and everything in it, has been my saving grace. When I bought my grateful journal many years ago in San Francisco, I find that it changed the way I thought of my life. I would and still do write in it daily. It helps me realize all the wonderful things and people I have in my life. I may not have brand new this or that, but I have everything I have ever wanted pretty much.
I'd love to be able to travel more. If I'm patient I know it will happen. As Laurie get's more and more roots here, I got worried, but we talked about this, and it's ok for me to travel alone. I sometimes prefer it. Laurie and I have different ideas about travel. I like to boondock, and Laurie likes having all the amenities. So, it's good to get away from each other at times and just do what you want. No problem.
I would like to get Solar put on the roof. I thought about getting Devon to help with this should I be able to buy this any time soon. I want to be able to travel with the least amount of having to be connected. I'd love it. To save all that money. I like to cook solar and have many times while on the road.
The more Youtube video's I watch the more excited I get about doing this or that. Youtube is one of the most wonderful things on the net. People post just about everything you can think about. I've been using it to learn new balloon animals.
I've thought about just going on the road and just entertain in every town. I know I want to go to all the Senior homes like I did while on the road with the Circus. I really want to give back and devote my life from now on to others. To be in service to others is such a wonderful feeling and it's a gift that keeps on giving.
I've had people recently tell me the impact I had on their lives. I never knew. How wonderful. Now, I just want to do more.
Namaste'
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