Getting ready for winter
It's starting to get a bit nippy in the air. Since many of our windows don't close all the way, this is a problem I'm going to have to address today.
We are planning to call a company that helps low income people with weather stripping their homes and help improve the air quality etc. I am looking forward to talking to them to see what we can get done. I'd love if they could build a ramp for us as well. I'm thinking of the future of course. We don't need a ramp quite yet but between me and Laurie, I feel we'll need one soon or later. With Laurie's MS and my walking problems I hold on when walking up and down our steps.
Laurie and I put a tarp over the RV because it was suppose to storm here, but so far no big rain. But it looks like it could really put out a pour. I love rainy days. I was hoping to get the mobile home painted before the end of the year, but now it looks like it will be in the Spring. I think it's better anyway. I'm thinking of having a paint/pool party next year.
Everything has been going great. I got the aquarium going with fish in it and they are beautiful. Nothing exotic yet, just fan tailed gold fish and a fighting fish, but they seem to all get along. It's a big enough aquarium that they have plenty of space. I can't wait until the plants grow. I got some bulbs from the store to grow in the aquarium. We'll see how that works out. I've always loved aquariums and have had many of them in my life.
I've not really been on for domestic life, but this is working out nicely as well. Our place is coming along as well. When you buy a fixer upper, it seems there is always something to do. That is part of the fun. We are painting, and have friends over that help when they can. We feed them well and go for a swim. I'm so grateful for my (our) many friends.
Went to the casino with Stan to play Bingo. He goes in half with me, so I can play, and if I win we split the winnings. Well, no winnings last night, but I did manage to get $20 in free play and come home with $120. I was thrilled. We were getting low on money so it helps. We have all the bills paid, which is nice. We've managed to cut about three of our bills in half. We are still working on the rest. I'm trying to figure out how to get all we want without going broke. I think that is the big deal now days.
Haven't really gotten out and sold any art. We haven't really been showing them off. I have to get ahold of a couple of store owners that were interested in having our art in their shops. I've just not been feeling that great and have been taking it easy. Laurie is so understanding. Because she has MS she understands good and bad days. Fibromyalga is a hard thing to live with, then put on top of that PTSD, and arthritis in both knees and Bi-Polar, it's a bunch to deal with on a daily basis.
When I was young I didn't know what was wrong with me and just thought I was going nuts. I was in a sense. But now that they know what is wrong with me, we are working on getting things under control. I used to take pills for my moods but have opted out on that and just deal with it with prayer and meditation. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. One thing I do know, is when I was on medication it was whacking me out worse, so I stopped the meds and am trying to do it on my own. If not, we will have to come up with something else. I just want to take less and less meds. I can't afford them.
I take one medication for pain right now and it has gone up from $23 to now 36. Ouch. Everything is going up faster than I can make money. Scary.
Parker AZ
We have reservations for Parker in November, but I think we are going to have to cancel at this time. there are things going on in my family that need my attention right now. I can't really talk about it here right now, but when I can I'll disclose the details, but for now, it's in the planning stage and need to direct my attention to this very important developement.
I'm not sure we'll make it at all at this point. I do know we need to go get out stuff out of storage! I'm so tired of our stuff being there and we paying here. ARF!
I never wanted to have stuff in storage what a waste of money. I'm so upset with myself about this. I am hoping this has taught me well, and that I will never do this again. I want to get rid of so much stuff! I have too much stuff. I'm so afraid to be a hoarder (I'm no where near) but still keep that in mind and watch that program all the time.
I was really looking forward to going and spending some time in the desert and hope we will still get a chance to go. Things could change on a dime I've found out. But as for this writing, we are putting it off for now to help someone in need. Pray for us, as we have a project in the works to help someone. It may or may not work, but we are helping with good intentions.
Spirituality
I've been taking a bit more time with my spirituality. I sometimes get so busy I forget to take the time to worship and get in the zen zone I call it. I haven't been reading as much as I'd like. I have so many books I want to read. This is a great time in my life where I don't have to worry about getting up and going to work or having to deal with kids, so I can have the kind of time and peace to read.
With all that is going on in the political ring, I have been stressed as others are I know. I am worried about Mitt Romney getting in. He is the kind of man that scares the crap out of me. If he runs the country I will be beside myself. He is so incredibly deceitful as well as his running mate Paul Ryan. I can barely stand to look at either of them, because they are so evil. Their spirits are evil, they lie, and aren't good people. Romney belongs to a cult that makes him God (how scary is that alone?) Where women are separate but equal. Where have we heard that one before?
This Country is divided. I've never seen anything like it since my birth. At least since I've been paying attention I should say.
I'm so tired of all the lies and such, I just want to drop out at times. I struggle with that. Getting involved, or just live my life as I see fit and shut out the rest. I could easily do that. I could just make Laurie and my small world all I need to get by daily. But then I think I should get involved to make a difference. My difference so far is voting.
But I feel the want to go out in the woods and just be quiet like I used too. I go to the beach as much as a person can and just chill out. I'm going to try to get another surf pole as mine is in Lake Havasu and just fish like I used too. It clears my mind. My mind works best after a time at the beach.
Religion
I've come to the conclusion that religion is a bag thing. It took me about 50 years to realize it and acknowledge it for being afraid to be struck down. I was so brainwashed about religion I was afraid to believe anything else. The jealous God would strike me down. I never really believed the Bible. I thought it was a book full of stories but never took them literally. I don't get how anyone can. Really??? What a crock of shit a bunch of men wrote down to scare and keep their people in line. I really believe that.
I think people are afraid NOT to believe because they have been brain washed all their life, and not only that they would be thought of as different from their family members who believe the black book.
I think religion has done more harm than good.
Just recently my sister who came to visit who is a Mormon. She was all into being a family when I was still a practicing Mormon, but since she has found out I'm gay and not longer go to the church, she still writes, visits, etc, but there is a big difference. She knows in her mind I won't be joining her in 'heaven' so I suppose she doesn't want to get too involved. I can't explain it very well here. but she did say on her Facebook page that 'I'm so glad families are forever'. What she meant by that is she is glad those in her immediate family are forever, but as for her Mother, brother, and sister, we are toast because we don't believe.
Now I understand my brothers estrangement from her. She sets herself up because of this cult to only read/think/be Mormon. To hell with anyone else. She didn't post one picture of us together, nor did she mention me that she'd visited / seem/ or even talked to me. Shows me exactly what she things. She can send me all the trinkets in the mail she wants but when it comes to really having to show emotion or take responsibility for being a sister, that's where it ends. I get it Bro!
She's got her Mormon family to hell with US.
Sad but true. It's all good. It's her choice. To me that is very two faced. To say how important your family is, but only the ones that believe what you believe. No wonder my brother wants nothing to do with her. I myself has realized that we won't have the sister relationship I was hoping for, but am grateful for what she will allow.
I'm gonna go and say my prayers for those that are hurting. I know there is so much hurt in the world and I know a few close to me are suffering. Please pray for my family. Being young isn't easy I remember, but to be young in this day and age, is even harder I believe due to everything going so fast, and doesn't seem there is honor much anymore. Sad
Just know you are loved and things will work out for the best.
Namaste'
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